tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-288998302024-03-19T02:17:53.871-07:00DoomtownChock full of ranty goodness!Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-10816272275321239382021-05-18T16:40:00.000-07:002021-05-18T16:40:27.774-07:00The Problem With Witnessing<p>I was reading a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/nfawj3/i_work_in_the_mental_health_field_and_im_deeply/" target="_blank">Reddit post on r/atheism</a> just a moment ago that piqued my interest. A mental health counselor was disturbed by their colleague's attitude toward proselytizing in the field. One of their colleagues spoke up during a Zoom training that it frustrated her that others in the field were "witnessing" to their clients, and that it was unprofessional. While the OP agreed with the complaining coworker, the others did not. In fact, they got down right defensive. Of course, OP lives in Tennessee, Bible Belt Central, so, no big surprise there. I live in Southern Louisiana which is not better when it comes to keeping your faith and other hot-topic opinions to yourself. It reminded me about the time my last shrink told me in not so many words that my mental health would benefit from a relationship with the Big G. I, of course, dropped her like a hot potato the second I left her office. And this got me thinking about the problem with witnessing.</p><p>I'm an agnostic leaning toward atheist. I have absolutely no problem when someone tells me they are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist...whatever. That's fine. What irritates me, and the thing I find most unprofessional in the workplace, is if that same person tries to convert me even after I've told them I'm not interested in their spiel. To be fair, it hasn't happened often at work. In the past, it was usually born-again family members trying to lead me back to the fold or people knocking on my door at inopportune hours of the day, somehow right when I'm on the toilet, or in desperate need of one, to tell me the virtues of their church and how I'm going to suffer for all eternity if I don't believe in their god. I wonder if their version of hell has a circle with no restrooms, and if they're just trying to get me used to my eternal damnation while I'm here on Earth doing the pee-pee dance.</p><p>It got me to thinking, however, what I would do if one of my coworkers got fanatical. You can walk away from a family member or slam the door in the face of a persistent Mormon missionary. Stopping unwanted holy advances from someone you have no choice but to deal with on a daily basis is trickier. So, I thought it through and came up with a rock solid strategy. It's always good to know where the safety exits are in any life situation.</p><p>I'd be polite the first time it happened. I'd tell them I'm not a believer and I have no wish to become one. If they were fool enough to come at me again, I would tell them, "Sorry, not interested. Please let's keep our relationship professional and not discus religion." If they persisted a third time, I'd straight up threaten to report them. Some of my more religious readers might clutch their pearls at this, claiming religious oppression, but that couldn't be further from the truth. This isn't me attacking a good Christian, just doing his/her thing. I realize you guys have to recruit, but when your intended devotee gives you the brush off multiple times, perhaps it's time to take the hint. You're no longer "witnessing". You're harassing, and that's a problem. Imagine someone of a different faith doing this to you. Imagine they told you your god is a lie and everything you believe is wrong. Now imagine they just. Won't. Stop. You'd tire of it too.</p><p>And before you tell me I'm picking on Christians exclusively, I'm not. I'd do this to anyone pestering me about their faith. The thing is, I have rarely ever gotten this from any other religion other than Christians. You guys have a freaking hardcore, gotta catch 'em all attitude for converting nonbelievers, and that is a BIG turn off. It's what makes the rest of us cringe when you tell us you are a Christian. Because we know what's coming, and that makes us put our guard up.</p><p>So when you go into work, and people are giving you the stink eye, just know it's not because of your religion. It's how you present it. You not only lost a convert by your actions, but you lost anyone who that person gripes to. In the age of the internet, that's a lot of souls you're responsible for, and you're probably going to burn in hell for it. Just kidding. I don't believe in hell.</p><p>But, no, you probably are.</p>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-38284372834422724152019-04-14T04:51:00.001-07:002019-04-14T04:51:46.772-07:00Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: Movies Explained ForI came across this gem while looking for something to listen to while crocheting. Yes, I've taken up crochet. No, I'm not very good at it. At any rate, MEF is a YouTube channel run by Jeb (significant pause here) Ediah! Jeb summarizes movies for millennials, realists, slackers, and anyone who might not know who Vincent Price was. Or what a land line is. Damn, I feel old.<br />
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Here's his interesting take on A Star Is Born (not the one with Lady Gaga), and be sure to like and subscribe.<br />
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<br />Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-69813968946673857162019-04-07T19:24:00.002-07:002019-04-07T19:24:53.340-07:00Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: Dumpster Dive Film ReviewsSome movies are trashed because they're <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBp91zjOCco" target="_blank">misunderstood</a>. Most are just <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYTjn18kPcQ" target="_blank">trash</a>. Judy Garbage gets to the bottom of a very stinky pile of films for your viewing pleasure and your olfactory salvation with her movie reviewing YouTube channel, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCquUJJP4kLAyGWoKvGn50Ag" target="_blank">Dumpster Dive Film Reviews</a>. My favorites include her review of the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEoPXBd4gntFnJzBFTuvo3ip79kb0Q6u_" target="_blank">Thief in the Night series</a> and her most recent review, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlNTd7PDO6s" target="_blank">Battlefield Earth</a>. Give her channel a look if you're interested and don't forget to subscribe.<br />
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<br />Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-44949098075026439792019-04-03T17:19:00.001-07:002019-04-03T17:19:20.806-07:00Drunken Shakespeare: Gassy Balcony Scene<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bgQAwZLlZGc" width="560"></iframe>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-21496618072384858862017-10-09T00:00:00.000-07:002017-10-09T00:00:04.132-07:00Baby Steps for New Authors by Guest Blogger and Author, Emerian Rich<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_BqMffVLKyKlfYphrKMPScDpvUuRtO2FwI8_YXHh3E_pAr4GEY1yQdXNsx7UvUs5q1uBy9jAEAtgdidBHCKcSCe4Hivv7pHZAA-51GY8eO4X9fBX0mnMSTX04ixB_3oPKtJm/s1600/emz1small.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN_BqMffVLKyKlfYphrKMPScDpvUuRtO2FwI8_YXHh3E_pAr4GEY1yQdXNsx7UvUs5q1uBy9jAEAtgdidBHCKcSCe4Hivv7pHZAA-51GY8eO4X9fBX0mnMSTX04ixB_3oPKtJm/s320/emz1small.png" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emerian Rich, author of <i>Dusk's Warriors</i></td></tr>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>Baby Steps for New
Authors</u></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></u></b></div>
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I’ve spoken to hundreds of authors over the years... new,
old, mid-career, famous, struggling, you name it. One thing we all have in
common is that we were all once where you are. We know how it feels to submit
your first work and wait with high hopes by the mailbox (or email inbox) for
that special editor’s reply. We know about declines and how sometimes they seem
so crippling, you don’t even want to continue. The other link that many new
writers have is they are timid and shy about their careers and marketing the
“way the pros do it”. Well here are some Baby Steps to get you started. <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. Convince yourself
you are an important writer and have something valid to say.</b> Once you’ve
accepted your fate as a writer and know you have no choice but to follow your
dreams, it will be easier to chip away at making those dreams a reality.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. Start a List.</b>
Lists are your best friend for brainstorming promotion ideas. Carry a little
notebook with you to brainstorm while waiting in lines, at the doctor, sitting
in the car wash, or while stuck at stoplights. Use every spare moment of the
day to work on your craft. Remember, you are a writer. Think of it as a real
job. A job you enjoy and will succeed at if you keep working on it. Plus, since
most of us have day jobs to pay the bills, this daily brainstorming will keep
you inspired to continue your writing career and less frustrated with
day-to-day mundane tasks.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. Research your
genre </b>and other authors that you admire to find places you might list your
book or things you may provide on your own website to draw readers to your
site. It is fine to review or discuss other writer’s work on your own blog in
hopes of drawing a crowd of those sorts of readers to your blog, but make sure
you are always respectful to the other writers you are speaking about. Also,
chat with visitors to your blog. The longer discussions you have, the more
people may pitch in. Make sure these are subjects you like and can geek out on
yourself. It’s okay to have fun!<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. Schedule time to
work on your craft every day.</b> If for some reason your life is too crazy for
every day, make it every week, but do it. Don’t let other things get in the
way. Don’t cancel and don’t let others make you discount the importance of your
writing ritual. Think of it as a job. If you were at work, you wouldn’t
necessarily call in because you friends wanted to meet for cocktails. <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Network with other
writers.</b> Even simple discussions in a Facebook group could lead you to a
contact who knows other contacts who will help you advance your career. Don’t
go into the conversation with the goal to use people to get ahead... Just go
and chat. Let the networking happen naturally. If you act like a spammer, bot,
or used car salesman, you will be tuned out automatically. You also need to
tend to your social needs. We all need to feel like we have partners in this
crazy career. Count on others online to fulfill that need if you can’t or don’t
feel comfortable chatting with writers in person. Try to go outside your
comfort level and chat about everyday events in your writing career with others
who are going through the same thing.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6. Don’t get
discouraged. </b>We’ve all heard, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try
again.” Get back on the horse and keep at it till you’ve amassed lots of tries.
At least one out of three will be productive. When you aren’t good at putting
yourself out there and communicating with people you don’t know, it may seem
debilitating, but keep telling yourself it will get easier, and it will.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. Start a blog to
practice writing to your future readers.</b> Who cares if no one reads it right
now? If they buy your book and start reading it, they will go back to read your
old posts. They will be interested because your book interests them and soon
you will have someone to geek out on your book with that loves it just as much
as you do. Readers love to see where an author started and how far they’ve
come. Don’t deny your fans the experience of traveling with you.<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8. Be good to people.</b> Don’t
be a jerk. Treat them as your friends, because hopefully they will be. I’m not
saying invite them over to your house for pizza, but you can be personable to
them. Some of my favorite writers respond to their fan Facebook messages or
Tweets. The more accessible to the readers, the more they will be interested in
your work. You don’t have to put on a fake personality (unless that is your shtick)
to gain readers. People respond to real. Just like they tell us to write what
we know, you should chat about what you know and what you like.</div>
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Good luck with your writing!</div>
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~Emerian Rich</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7fTbtDqIVBEnl_U-5rJsVj4Bmk3_Ge9C1syK3-yJD90KFMFug6D60cwELMERiI7OHpRB0bsCe2bmatLcc1b9GQY_347IdTty2nLGVzIjwAJA8G8j_tuZPGdB_iTwa-N32NZe8/s1600/dwBAR.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="259" data-original-width="1031" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7fTbtDqIVBEnl_U-5rJsVj4Bmk3_Ge9C1syK3-yJD90KFMFug6D60cwELMERiI7OHpRB0bsCe2bmatLcc1b9GQY_347IdTty2nLGVzIjwAJA8G8j_tuZPGdB_iTwa-N32NZe8/s640/dwBAR.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR4wWJ4T0xROo1LjG7aul2bc1YI5SzqCbyzjfZBFixNk9twqpl2y0Q15nzXnmv19bTBJSBatmrgCNSnpUF3ZK9vq0NcPEntWjYZqYEWStCxn-VOyM38WdXo2R-3hB83Sy8DDv9/s1600/dwbook3d2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1356" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR4wWJ4T0xROo1LjG7aul2bc1YI5SzqCbyzjfZBFixNk9twqpl2y0Q15nzXnmv19bTBJSBatmrgCNSnpUF3ZK9vq0NcPEntWjYZqYEWStCxn-VOyM38WdXo2R-3hB83Sy8DDv9/s320/dwbook3d2.png" width="270" /></a><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dusks-Warriors-Nights-Knights-Vampire/dp/1544628803"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: Garamond;">Dusk’s Warriors</span></span></i></b></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20pt; margin: 0px;"> </span></i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20pt; margin: 0px;">by Emerian
Rich</span></b></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">Heaven has opened up and welcomed the vampires of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Night’s Knights</i> into a new reality. As
they struggle to find their place in their new world, trouble brews on Earth.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">Demon servant, Ridge, is causing havoc by gathering up all
the souls on Earth that have been touched by immortality. When he injures one
of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Night’s Knights</i> crew, he
launches a war between the vampires of Heaven, the Big Bad in Hell, and a
mortal street gang of vigilante misfits.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;">Will Julien, Markham, and Reidar be able to defeat the evil
that’s returned, or will they once again need Jespa’s help?</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; margin: 0px;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">Praise for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dusk’s
Warriors</i>:</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">“All hail, the queen of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Night's Knights</i> has returned! Emerian Rich's unique take on
vampires delights my black little heart.” ~Dan Shuarette, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lilith's Love</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">“A world of horror with realistic characters in a fast
paced thriller you won't be able to put down.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">~David Watson, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
All Night Library</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">Praise for Night’s Knights: </span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">“Fresh, original, and thoroughly entertaining.” ~Mark
Eller, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Traitor</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">“Emerian brought the Vampire Novel back from the dead.” ~C.
E. Dorsett, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Shine Like Thunder</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHEy-VhUutpLuaiMnElLQbQC8NzTBUyVJZPgbgizCslxIJatS4zgJ1u7u8zHxrNzqmZFAlyfbJQ1nF1ejurbQPz1FmPYGpXM-qFkLLPuQMDTD_WQwy9NofK4Y7L2i8otRZcwl9/s1600/emz1small.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHEy-VhUutpLuaiMnElLQbQC8NzTBUyVJZPgbgizCslxIJatS4zgJ1u7u8zHxrNzqmZFAlyfbJQ1nF1ejurbQPz1FmPYGpXM-qFkLLPuQMDTD_WQwy9NofK4Y7L2i8otRZcwl9/s200/emz1small.png" width="133" /></a><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dusks-Warriors-Nights-Knights-Vampire/dp/1544628803"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; margin: 0px;"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: Garamond;">Available now at Amazon.com in print and eBook</span></span></i></b></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 18pt; margin: 0px;"></span></i></b></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Dusks-Warriors-Nights-Knights-Vampire/dp/1544628803"><span style="color: #0563c1; font-family: Garamond;">https://www.amazon.com/Dusks-Warriors-Nights-Knights-Vampire/dp/1544628803</span></a></div>
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Emerian Rich is an artist, horror
host, and author of the vampire series, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Night’s
Knights.</i><span style="margin: 0px;"> She is the hostess of
the internationally acclaimed podcast, HorrorAddicts.net. Under the name Emmy
Z. Madrigal, she writes the musical romance series, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sweet Dreams </i>and she’s the Editorial Director for the Bay Area
magazine, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">SEARCH</i>. She lives in the
San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and son.</span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-89325634138127232292017-07-01T16:03:00.002-07:002017-07-01T16:03:57.551-07:00Lou Tai<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">My husband recently ran a D&D game where I played a rogue thief by the name a Lou Tai. I didn't play her very well as I'm not much of roleplayer, but the character background was...interesting:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4t26S188vKfqqvAMKHLTFr3wJE7TqMlj0Ys5xEgadzG92_4jLCv11kAXk-KdL5Z1Jy4A_GznX7qbB7pCFH84GDQohutIRRG7epM6mQZ3ECIbQY59JW4Xu1u5XS_FXvd1W7RZU/s1600/tumblr_static_tumblr_static_810tv8nhk3gg8cs8wk0k8ccos_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="273" data-original-width="484" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4t26S188vKfqqvAMKHLTFr3wJE7TqMlj0Ys5xEgadzG92_4jLCv11kAXk-KdL5Z1Jy4A_GznX7qbB7pCFH84GDQohutIRRG7epM6mQZ3ECIbQY59JW4Xu1u5XS_FXvd1W7RZU/s320/tumblr_static_tumblr_static_810tv8nhk3gg8cs8wk0k8ccos_640.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tumblr.com/search/female%20thief" target="_blank">Image found on Tumblr</a></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Lou Tai (or Tai Lou, if you are not Shou) is a twenty-one year old Human of half Shou descent through her mother, Lou Mei Mei (or Mei Mei Lou). Her mother is the owner and operator of the Three Jolly Luck Good Time “Inn". And yes, the quotation marks can also be seen on the establishment sign as it is an “Inn” of disrepute. Mei Mei likes everyone to think she is all about the money (her motto is “Money Up Front”), but she is soft hearted when it comes to those who are down on their luck and in need of a good meal. Tai takes after her in that respect. Her father, Ander “Horny” Hornraven, is a Human traveling bard of even more disrepute. He has half a dozen illegitimate children through different women of different races and is a known scoundrel and gallivanter. Tai loves him anyway—when he can be found—but not enough to loan him money (which would be stupid since he is also a known welsher).</em></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Tai has two younger half sisters through her mother named Bai (pronounced Bye) and Lai (pronounced Lie). Bai, sixteen years old, is the healer of the family. She is destined to become a cleric or herbalist, in spite of their mother’s discouragement. She has a soft spot for bunnies and anything remotely fluffy. Lai, seventeen, is the wild child of the family with a talent for music. She wants to be a bard like her father. Not Ander. A different bard. Their mom’s a ho. Go figure. Lai is saving money to join the local bard’s guild. Mom is even less happy about this, but what can you do? Kids.</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Like Bai, Tai dreamed of being a cleric when she was a child because she wanted to help the sick and the poor. She was discouraged from doing this by her mother who told her there wasn’t much money in the trade. Tai later met a passing Halfling thief by the name of Milo who taught her how to pick locks. She fell in love—not with Milo, but with the new found ability to break into anywhere she wanted to be. She loves the sneaking around and breaking in aspects of the trade and the intellectual challenge of stealing much more than she loves the money, but she does like a good payoff too. Most of her money goes to her mother and two younger half sisters (Bai and Lai) and, if she has enough left over, she’ll put some money in the poor box or give it to someone in need. Milo tells her there is a thieves guild in the city of (?) that can train her better than he can. She is very interested in the opportunities this city holds.</em></span></div>
<br /></b>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-65737563320120280142017-06-21T09:09:00.000-07:002017-06-21T09:11:30.627-07:00I've Often Wanted to Ask This Question Myself...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php" border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="684" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXJru9viYcZy0ib2J8hUTYadKyHQGL70HqYgLU7NcBQU5YAPQ4CaWj9Ue6fUGKIvynspQhMC_Z97NLGLCZsKEZJ77BeIic7i5ly2etSWyia5i87pAI7ql48wdSuWQaczjTqTqf/s1600/1498057367-soonish9.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Be sure to visit <a href="http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php" target="_blank">Zach's page</a>. His comic is awesome! And did you know he wrote a <a href="http://smbc-comics.com/soonish/" target="_blank">book</a> with his wife, Kelly Weinersmith? You should check that out too. Preferably by buying it.</span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-82502773992649270182017-06-18T21:30:00.000-07:002017-06-18T21:33:34.027-07:00Spa Review of Awesomeness!<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I don't know who posted this, but I'm sure they are just fabulous!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><strong><a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60864-d3178984-r467877332-Woodhouse_Day_Spa-New_Orleans_Louisiana.html#REVIEWS" target="_blank"><em>“I didn't get a pony for my birthday, but it's all good!”</em></a></strong></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="expand_inline scrname mbrName_FE85EBA25070C6EF1E488A918D2DE4C7">karmagrl31276</span><br />
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Metairie, Louisiana </div>
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<span alt="5.0 of 5 bubbles" class="ui_bubble_rating bubble_5"></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> <span class="ratingDate" content="2017-03-16" property="datePublished">Reviewed March 16, 2017 </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Went to the Woodhouse Day Spa in New Orleans for their Woodhouse Experience. I went to their website and read what the package entails because booking a spa package without knowing what I'm getting would just be silly. Good thing too, because I found out the Woodhouse Experience usually includes a bath cure followed by a four handed massage. Having two therapists work on me at the same time creeps me out, so I opted for a 110 minute Swedish instead. The concierge who booked my appointment was awesome. I think it had something to do with the fact I treated her like a human being deserving respect and not a servant born to do my bidding. My spa day started with me arriving at the spa AT LEAST 30 minutes before my appointment began because I work in New Orleans and know that sometimes finding a parking in the city can suck. Also, I have enough common sense to know that if my appointment is booked for 11am, that means my SERVICE begins at 11AM. Not whenever I feel like plopping my body on my massage therapist's table. I know this because I've been to spas all over the world. While I waited, I took a quick shower because hygiene is awesome and I figured my service providers would appreciate not having to smell my body funk from the night before. After that, I relaxed in their quiet area where I noticed there were other people there waiting for their services. This did not shock me what with the fact that I've been to other spas (all over the world) and not once was shown to a broom closet to wait all by my lonesome. Human companionship is almost as awesome as good hygiene. My massage therapist was Neesa, but her real name is probably Hands Of Relaxing Awesomeness. She did not cure my myopia, but that's why I own glasses and really, all I wanted to do was relax, a feat she certainly accomplished. Thus the name. My next service was a nourishing Woodhouse Signature Minkyti Facial performed by Jalyn who is a true artist when it comes to cleaning dirt encrusted pores. My skin has never felt cleaner or more moisturized. Pretending to be a bearded merman with a unibrow when she applied my seaweed mask was a bonus. After that, I was whisked away to a pedicure chair where the talented and courageous Anika went to work on my callused feet as she gave me my Seaweed Leaf Pedicure. Although she protested when I said my feet had to be the gnarliest set of hoofs she ever had the misfortune to encounter, I still felt I owed her a medal of bravery or something just for having to look at them. Afterwards, my feet felt as soft and as smooth as a very soft and smooth...thing. Well done, soldier. Well done. After a day of being relaxed and beautimized, I went to the concierge desk to pay my bill and tip my service providers for a job well done, tipped them at least 20% because that's kind of what you're supposed to do what with the fact that these guys don't get paid the full price of the service but probably a commission or an hourly rate. I know this because I've been to spas. All over the world. </span></div>
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<span class="recommend-titleInline noRatings"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Visited March 2017</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60864-d3178984-r467877332-Woodhouse_Day_Spa-New_Orleans_Louisiana.html#" style="background-color: transparent; color: green; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 14px/normal arial, sans-serif; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60864-d3178984-r467877332-Woodhouse_Day_Spa-New_Orleans_Louisiana.html#</span></a></div>
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Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-47228007251418905002017-06-12T16:37:00.001-07:002017-06-12T16:38:53.559-07:00A Russian Doll in Reverse<b style="font-weight: normal;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7jCmBVA2ci_L2H3RPH5H0d3d4b-wyiGK40zZzVmqMpOMMTklZMj06MNDVuFkwHdoB2QSDxIYtDI3TgnrZuSKuaxvqYkBSE8p89ZTfP6Eue92haWZrbVDwk9ALaVKOYyqsuaY/s1600/RussianDoll1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7jCmBVA2ci_L2H3RPH5H0d3d4b-wyiGK40zZzVmqMpOMMTklZMj06MNDVuFkwHdoB2QSDxIYtDI3TgnrZuSKuaxvqYkBSE8p89ZTfP6Eue92haWZrbVDwk9ALaVKOYyqsuaY/s400/RussianDoll1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This image is not my own, but fell in love when I saw it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You can find this picture <a href="http://blog.ams-designstudio.com/2012/02/lovehate-russian-dolls/" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A RUSSIAN DOLL IN REVERSE</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">by Karen Plaisance</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">He feeds from me. He suckles from a vein in my neck, gulping away like a thirsty redneck sucking down a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon. We’re sitting in the cold and the dirt and I’m desperately trying to hold onto some semblance of sanity, trying to get my nerve up. I can’t close my eyes. I’m afraid I’ll disappear if I do that. But I can’t look either. I can’t look at the whole picture. There’s something unpleasant in the room with me that has nothing to do with my captor. That has everything to do with my captor. My feverish mind rebels when I try, so I take the scene in one grizzly part at a time as he feeds, starting from small to large. Like one of those dolls, those Russian Matryoshka dolls that you open to find one doll after another inside, each smaller than the next. Only I’m starting from the inside out.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">First, there’s the eye. It was sapphire blue when the woman lived and sparkled like a gem even in the dimly lit bar where I served her usual vodka straight. It was her best feature. Her prized attribute. Her treasured gems are cloudy now. Occluded, as the poets in my old textbooks used to say, the ones I used to read before I gave up on the whole college thing. They’re still in my apartment somewhere, gathering dust. I remember thumbing through them the day I decided to quit, wondering if those old poets felt as overwhelmed as I did.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The eyes don’t blink. The nose, the chapped lips, the concave cheeks. Features of a face that once was beautiful, now a tragic waste. None of these twitch, though they should what with the abundance of flies crawling all over them. She isn’t doing much moving anywhere. Except where things are wriggling, but let’s not think too hard about that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I don’t look at the neck. I just…can’t.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The dress. I look at the dress. A lovely yellow mini dress, sexy and sophisticated like the type you find in one of those Trashy Diva shops. It clung to her body to reveal her shape and movements in a way that caught a man’s glance and kept it there. The woman wasn’t ashamed of her body like most of us were taught to be, and the dress was a lovely reminder of that. Or it used to be. Too much red on the bodice now, like someone spilled their cosmo all over her. Blood stains can be so garish. The thing is covered in dirt, front and back, to the point that there’s barely an unsoiled spot to tell what color it was when it was clean. The woman would hate that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">She couldn’t stand for her things to get dirty or messed up. She grew up poor in one of those countries where you had to work a month of backbreaking labor just to earn what we Americans playing Minesweeper in some cubicle all day make. She said the men smelled of vodka when they beat up their women and took their hard earned pay. When she came to the States, it was more of the same, except the men smelled of beer or whiskey, and there was a lot more money for them to take. The woman laughed at me when I told her I dropped out of university my first year.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">“You Americans don’t know what you have,” she said shaking her head and eyeing me like I was one of her lazy, good-for-nothing Johns. “You know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Look that one up in your textbooks.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Then she said something in her native tongue I didn’t comprehend, but from the condescending look on her face, I could tell it wasn’t complimentary.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Bartending in a tourist town makes you fluent in the language of bitch.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">“Maybe so,” said with a hint of a smile, “but at least I’m smart enough not to antagonize the person who spits in my drinks. Oh, wait! Did I say spit? I meant pour.”</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I can speak bitch too.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">In spite of her contempt, she had no regrets about her lack of education. At least, that’s what she told me when I served her that one shot of Stoli beer chaser every night, her nightly limit when she trolled the bar for a willing John. She said she was just happy to learn a trade that paid something. Not a respectable occupation, but she was good enough to make a decent living, especially once she had gotten out from under her pimp’s thumb. Ran away to New Orleans and set up shop with another “working girl” named Hailey. Safety in numbers, she said. Did real well for herself too. Even so, she was obsessive about keeping her shit in good condition. The woman remembered all too well what it was like to have to patch up the same dress for years before it crumbled to rags.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Seeing her here, lying in the dirt, she wouldn’t like this at all. She’d be turning over in her grave if she could see herself. But she’s not in her grave. He hadn’t even bothered to take the body away after he finished her off, and I certainly wasn’t going to argue with him about it. Not after what he did to her.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Fighting him off had been useless when there were two of us. We tried that the first night, ganging up on him the second he walked through the door. Her plan. Not mine. My plan was to wait things out, find out what we were dealing thing, and maybe cower in a corner while praying for some hero to save us. Not the woman, though. She was a born fighter. Not that it mattered in the end. We barely had the chance to pounce when he pushed me to the ground and swatted her against one of the concrete walls as if we were nothing. Guess that’s why he hadn’t bothered to tie us up.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I let my eyes wander some more as he feeds. I’m getting light headed from the loss of blood. Stupid to waste time. Getting up my nerve. Getting up my nerve like the old college days the night before a big exam. I try to clear my mind of all distractions, but I keep spiraling into the same thought process. The eye. The face. The body. The room. My inevitable end if this all goes wrong.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Small picture. Big picture.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The room has a dirt floor. The dirt around her body is covered in rat droppings, leaves and twigs, and human feces. There wasn’t a toilet or a bucket when he threw us in here, so we were stuck shitting in the corner. It was already hard enough for the woman to move after that first night. He must have broke a few of her ribs. Maybe her spine. Then she got sick. Real sick. Coughing and wheezing and moaning in Russian or whatever it was she spoke. I hadn’t bothered to ask when she was well enough to answer. I didn’t have to touch her forehead to feel the heat of fever radiating from her skin.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When he took us, she didn’t have her coat, had left it on the stool at the bar. That’s how he got me. Because I went outside to the parking lot to return it. Must have dropped it when he snatched me. No good deed goes unpunished. Guess it’s still there with Hailey, her partner. But probably not. Someone would have found it and Hailey by now.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Eventually, The woman ended up shitting and pissing all over herself. I did my best to clean her up, but there weren’t a lot of options. The last time he was here to feed from the both of us and to bring us a little food, he took one look at her and the shit and the piss, saw that she was really bad off, and ripped her throat out with his teeth, nearly decapitated her. Then he started feeding from me alone.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">That was a few days ago, and now I’m coughing and wheezing too. Well, I am when he’s not here. It’s getting harder to fake though, and he must feel the heat of my fever. He must know he’s getting close to draining me dry too.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The room, which is spinning around me, is about ten by fifteen feet. Slightly bigger than most prison cells, if some of the woman’s descriptions can be believed. The walls are made of gray concrete blocks, most of them stained with...I don’t want to know. No windows. The only way in or out is through a metal door. The thing is locked tight, chained from the outside, so there’s no use picking the lock even if I had the skills or the proper tools to do it. There’s nothing in here. Nothing but dirt and shit and a dead body that used to be a pretty Russian girl.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">And twigs. Because this place is somewhere out in the middle of the woods. Every time he opens the door, the wind blows all this natural flotsam and jetsam into our cell. Most of the twigs are these thin useless things that would snap just by looking at them too hard. I didn’t pay much attention to them before, too caught up in my own spiralling thoughts. But the last time he came to feed from me, I noticed an honest to God branch. Not a big one. Nothing I could use as a club or anything, but it was adequately thick enough to sharpen against the gritty concrete. Like making a shiv. The woman would appreciate the ingenuity behind that.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When I found it, I thought of all those movies I’d seen. I thought of all those books I’d read. He’s unnaturally strong. He only visits at night. If he is what I think he is…would it work? Would it work if he’s not? Probably. Most people die if you stab them in the heart. If it doesn’t, I’m as good as dead, but does that matter at this point? I stare at the Russian Matryoshka on the ground in front of me, head dangling from her body by a twisted rope of muscle and tendons. Broken. I wonder if I look inside, would there be a smaller version of her somewhere. Is her soul there? Is she in a better place? There’s no power on Earth that can put that doll back together again, and if I don’t do something soon, that doll is going to be me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I’m not going out like that. Not without a fight.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 2.4; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I finally look at him, this monster with a beautiful man’s face. Finished with his meal, my captor licks my neck clean. He smiles down on me with those sharp fangs of his in a twisted smirk. My fist tightens against the branch, hidden just out of his line of sight. He tells me I was delicious. He’s in the process of turning away, about to stand up to leave. He isn’t looking at me. He isn’t worried. Why would he be?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I’ve found my nerve. I pull back my hand and aim for his heart…</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">THE END</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">#</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></b><br />Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-23398422305368383992017-06-09T18:38:00.000-07:002017-06-10T16:03:52.250-07:00Karma Girl's Excellent Last Will and Testament<b style="font-weight: normal;"></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-dbcfc787-8f7c-0565-b39e-cfae7d801428" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Okay, I’ve had a few drinks, so bear with me. First thing’s first: Open Bar. I want an open bar at my funeral/wake/memorial service. Whatever you want to do is fine, just make sure there’s an open bar. I don’t give a shit if alcohol is a depressant. OPEN. FUCKING. BAR!</span></span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw0g3JjD6z3RAq-7myz1SPXuG2zENJ3kCqTDjqTBpGYYXC6RT3La5xA82lwPd7zpZ8GfXYRCx-OUvnkonDl4imGrrwIyJSIU5LBMya8PdewowIuIxX2K_6n3cLZlP9oDTuX_AW/s1600/imageMain_41_82.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw0g3JjD6z3RAq-7myz1SPXuG2zENJ3kCqTDjqTBpGYYXC6RT3La5xA82lwPd7zpZ8GfXYRCx-OUvnkonDl4imGrrwIyJSIU5LBMya8PdewowIuIxX2K_6n3cLZlP9oDTuX_AW/s320/imageMain_41_82.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Maiden name is Griffin, bitches!</span></td></tr>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></b></div>
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</b><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Things I would like, but if you can’t do, no biggie:</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">1. I want to be cremated. </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It’s the cheapest route and personally I don’t like the idea of my friends and family members crying over my decaying corpse. I’d like for at least some of those ashes to be used to plant a tree or something like that. Not because I’m a pagan or anything. I just feel like I’ve been pretty useless in life. Might as well put my dead ass to work helping the carbon ratio or whatever the hell it’s called.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHGRYKWmte0IqoVzSpYGDLNkWaqrUaGBrTGqXtIhLtM-SI6Pu36HcRFM3QWQa8ix6HpY9zW1px4Syv6VwFYs6Gskz-rrqA-Z2YnzGy43ht0VYZNO8QjnK9IB9M5nWuK_aS8Ecn/s1600/bios2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHGRYKWmte0IqoVzSpYGDLNkWaqrUaGBrTGqXtIhLtM-SI6Pu36HcRFM3QWQa8ix6HpY9zW1px4Syv6VwFYs6Gskz-rrqA-Z2YnzGy43ht0VYZNO8QjnK9IB9M5nWuK_aS8Ecn/s320/bios2.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">No, seriously. This is a </span><a href="https://www.oneworldmemorials.com/products/bios-urn-pine-tree-burial-cremation-urn?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=googlepla&variant=31375627526&gclid=CN-XnbiJstQCFcK2wAodE20MKg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;">thing</span></a><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">2. I haven’t lost total faith in God. Yet. He took my dad and little sister, but who knows? Maybe they really have gone to a better place. I will allow a minister of my husband’s, mother’s, or sister’s choosing. Please don’t get into a fight over it. If there is a disagreement regarding the minister, either play Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock (the rules for which can be found </span></span><a href="http://bigbangtheory.wikia.com/wiki/Rock_Paper_Scissors_Lizard_Spock" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">here</span></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">) or use the minister for Kelli’s funeral.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGU5n3026iVKl01fJQbxFGDP3Ma1ijQnhz3uzEy_3-FMVU-Lz9SlILnYy5Np8TUDzbl__I9LTR-0jjX9kyDNhYGk6P8qFL8NZyzJmHaIVpOWVnbXERP-Oyop4WPsGSBc_uDVPZ/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="195" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGU5n3026iVKl01fJQbxFGDP3Ma1ijQnhz3uzEy_3-FMVU-Lz9SlILnYy5Np8TUDzbl__I9LTR-0jjX9kyDNhYGk6P8qFL8NZyzJmHaIVpOWVnbXERP-Oyop4WPsGSBc_uDVPZ/s1600/untitled.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Or fight to the death. Whatever.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">3. I want at least one friend or family member to dress in the </span></span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosplay" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">cosplay</span></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> of their choosing and do an Irish jig at my funeral/wake/whatever. It will amuse me. Or, if the Atheists are right, it won’t amuse me, as I will be a corpse devoid of feeling. But if I were alive, it would totally fucking amuse me so do it anyway.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRpqaSyZ9KroGg2F02j4FDeBQfA35imUZ0ceQNld8IXUKdS-s_PqUf_1gy12EK-DsSQRL1yoUoaZqvFRecqMuhCUMlfSh_Tyh9IDlLvWah3wXV6YaBU_JaKvUaWHI3a9v5aajz/s1600/57g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="347" data-original-width="550" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRpqaSyZ9KroGg2F02j4FDeBQfA35imUZ0ceQNld8IXUKdS-s_PqUf_1gy12EK-DsSQRL1yoUoaZqvFRecqMuhCUMlfSh_Tyh9IDlLvWah3wXV6YaBU_JaKvUaWHI3a9v5aajz/s320/57g.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;">It could be worse. </span><a href="http://www.barstoolsports.com/boston/hysterical-story-where-a-boy-with-cancer-asks-a-comedian-to-attend-his-funeral-in-a-giant-cock-costume/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;">Trust me</span></a><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">4. My husband gets first pick of all my books. Mom gets second. My sister Tammy</span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> and her husband Larry</span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> get third pick. My friend Neesa</span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> gets fourth. Anything left should be donated to the library or Peter Dinklage. I realize Peter Dinklage is not really Tyrion Lannister, but it would just be awesome so let’s just go with it.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRbl3JtFr7L-pgX-7kYl6UCMjrKYzYSLxWHPFqrljUfNpbErNuN01efcH6loQm-g7Y7W4QWFgyUgodAyZZjy9vsZxJLbFriklpjRQhSeBFI_OZht58eA24BKIs7hjz6njt2Mn9/s1600/game-of-thonres-tyrion-lannister-i-drink-and-i-know-things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="1000" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRbl3JtFr7L-pgX-7kYl6UCMjrKYzYSLxWHPFqrljUfNpbErNuN01efcH6loQm-g7Y7W4QWFgyUgodAyZZjy9vsZxJLbFriklpjRQhSeBFI_OZht58eA24BKIs7hjz6njt2Mn9/s400/game-of-thonres-tyrion-lannister-i-drink-and-i-know-things.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Damn straight.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">5. I want everyone mourning me to contribute at least one dollar to whatever Democrat runs against Trump, Pence, or whatever monster is running on the Republican ticket on the presidential election of my demise. My vote didn’t count for shit in life. You bastards are going to make up for it or I will FUCKING HAUNT YOU! No seriously. Fuck Trump.</span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqyba6p2z-FevOX-oq4nYb1h8HM-KAsiAk1F_DOejgynVsXEoaUX654TvucnVlJVIaqXgMXoQjcl-7elQdjhYUpMkGNWxIgtqJO9GmlqJx1NaLl2MEvLwodTUbLA1hmXy1n0w/s1600/sticker%252C375x360-bg%252Cffffff_u2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="375" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqyba6p2z-FevOX-oq4nYb1h8HM-KAsiAk1F_DOejgynVsXEoaUX654TvucnVlJVIaqXgMXoQjcl-7elQdjhYUpMkGNWxIgtqJO9GmlqJx1NaLl2MEvLwodTUbLA1hmXy1n0w/s320/sticker%252C375x360-bg%252Cffffff_u2.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">You mother fuckers owe me.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">6. Something, something, something...dark side.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">7. A pony. Wait. That was for my birthday. Fuck it. Too much Korbel.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivHb8XzGz-qykDyIenktEU4DiipgrCxjkYCzmf4CGy2LJabCwx4iZAeO75T6YnU8BxZgU6E0rVWTKWmKG5YSy8OcviPbfJD6AD8DTJQsyT3E120dbsf58lMAxKgiJZ_-ga6kXF/s1600/be6e28dc49a8a7cc4bd7319ddb1e28b9--unicorn-costume-unicorn-outfit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="550" data-original-width="367" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivHb8XzGz-qykDyIenktEU4DiipgrCxjkYCzmf4CGy2LJabCwx4iZAeO75T6YnU8BxZgU6E0rVWTKWmKG5YSy8OcviPbfJD6AD8DTJQsyT3E120dbsf58lMAxKgiJZ_-ga6kXF/s320/be6e28dc49a8a7cc4bd7319ddb1e28b9--unicorn-costume-unicorn-outfit.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Um...never mind.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">8. I want everyone mourning me to do something nice for a total stranger. Give a dollar to a bum on the street. Help someone move. Pat someone on the back and say, “Nice job!” I don’t care. Make someone feel good about themselves. I don’t think I did much of that in life. Do it now so you don’t have to ask some poor schmuck to do it for you to feel better about your eventual demise.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT5oK4k9ULFFMhmI4B4aVA3huoMSKTqudtJ9gyGdfHouYku8wtWSZB5EGQAxoNiMHnHZOEOcE0qxHhaRgTpKtngLww5plylrbcN15RN5Z9NmuZsBpHeVhdGsTHPExfPbjcrubB/s1600/03a8021c3845be9300d56670864788ad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="775" data-original-width="590" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT5oK4k9ULFFMhmI4B4aVA3huoMSKTqudtJ9gyGdfHouYku8wtWSZB5EGQAxoNiMHnHZOEOcE0qxHhaRgTpKtngLww5plylrbcN15RN5Z9NmuZsBpHeVhdGsTHPExfPbjcrubB/s320/03a8021c3845be9300d56670864788ad.jpg" width="243" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: small;">Like totes, man!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span></span> </div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">That’s all I can think of for now. But I’m serious about the open bar. Like for reals.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span> </b><br />Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-49868376551491140632017-05-09T20:34:00.002-07:002017-05-09T20:34:52.251-07:00For My Little Sister<br />
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<a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/theneworleansadvocate/obituary.aspx?pid=185321414" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/theneworleansadvocate/obituary.aspx?pid=185321414" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Hp3TTlvbxwf_P2GGI62hhoNATR8ZKMZh49NqeeRrLNnzTq_BxHCbtGfGzUdcFlmgtaNym0gjA8NOR-uNH5Xid_EQbpq7duXzoQr1T5Id_eh_9fNJnezDWLDvhlzs7oXBci_W/s320/20170504_082226.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="180" /><span id="goog_1644633735"></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span id="goog_1644633732"></span><a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/theneworleansadvocate/obituary.aspx?pid=185321414" target="_blank">Kelli Sue Griffin</a>, age 38, passed away on Saturday, April 29, 2017, at West Jefferson Medical Center in Marrero. She was born May 28, 1978, in Marrero, to Gary and Patricia (Plaisance) Griffin. She was a 2005 graduate of Louisiana Technical College and a self-taught artist. She worked as an Administrative Assistant with West Jefferson Industrial Medicine, where her coworkers fell in love with her. Kelli’s many passions included painting, sculpture, and arts and crafts. Her greatest strength was her determination to finish whatever she set out to do, no matter how hard the task. Her biggest flaw was not knowing just how special and irreplaceable she was. She is survived by her mother, Patricia; her sisters, Tammy Gegenheimer and Karen Williams; her two brothers in-law Larry Gegenheimer, Jr. and Darrin Williams; her nephew Gary Lapoint; her niece Hannah Gegenheimer; her aunts Elda Olsen, Barbra Houillon, Rosemary Plaisance, Linda Plaisance, and Sally Griffin; her uncles Melvin Plaisance, Jr., Julian Plaisance, and Bryan Griffin; and many cousins. A visitation will be held on Wednesday, May 10, 2017 from 8:00 AM to 9:00 AM for family, and 9:00 AM to 11:00 AM for all others at Mothe Funeral Home, 2100 Westbank Expressway, Harvey. Visitation will be followed by a memorial service in the chapel at 11:00 AM. DO NOT SEND FLOWERS. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Kelli’s name to the charity of your choice.</span></b></span><br />
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</b>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-50719931938725947552015-09-30T20:23:00.000-07:002015-09-30T20:23:28.574-07:00Doomtown Feature Interview: The Crazy Homeless Guy on the Corner of Poydras and South Claiborne Avenue<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7vaWXnNHw5jqAWFGN2ZFtsTMouJW08zBwEnBjxSUlddvkYF3AHNoBt6q8O4mQyCvsrZGOE1KJkXfAHdlvaeMTkfQO68_LqgtjWTZAoZbj4dRKLBUHfnQ8nTJyoCSwX6_TJbCv/s1600/themartians.jpg.w180h200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7vaWXnNHw5jqAWFGN2ZFtsTMouJW08zBwEnBjxSUlddvkYF3AHNoBt6q8O4mQyCvsrZGOE1KJkXfAHdlvaeMTkfQO68_LqgtjWTZAoZbj4dRKLBUHfnQ8nTJyoCSwX6_TJbCv/s1600/themartians.jpg.w180h200.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I was driving to work one day, trying to think of a good interview subject, when I happened upon a homeless guy standing on the corner of Poydras Street. He was holding a sign warning of the dangers of a coming Martian invasion, and begging for money. To be fair, I'm not sure if Mr. Shazam Dynamite-the name he gave me-is truly one of the city's disenfranchised. He claimed to have a home and plenty to eat but needed the money for the spaceship he is building to escape the "Red Menace". Here's the scoop I was able to get from him while waiting for the light to turn green.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Karma Girl:</b> Can you tell me how you ended up here?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shazam Dynamite:</b> Took the bus.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> I meant how you came to be at such a low point in your life, but sure. What's up with the sign? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> The Meanies, they follow me, but I'm too smart for them. Gave 'em the slip.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> The Meanies?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz: </b>The Red Meanies. The Red Menace.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG: </b>...Communists?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz: </b><i>(Gives me an irritated groan) </i></span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="hps">No,</span> <span class="hps">you idiot</span><span>!</span> <span class="hps">I think</span> <span class="hps">of Mars.</span> <span class="hps">It</span> will be our <span class="hps">destruction</span><span class="hps"></span><span class="">, make no mistake</span>!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="" id="result_box" lang="en"><span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG: </b>Okay then. Why are the Martians going to attack us? I hear they have water now, so what's the deal?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz: </b>The water story is a lie, a ruse made up by our red planet oppressors. They try to give us a false sense of calm, but I'm on to them. Oh yes.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> They want our water, you're saying?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz: </b><i>(Looks at me like I'm crazy)</i> Don't be foolish. They want our women. They need to procreate with humans to make a super race of beings that will wipe us all out by the year 2050. It's been foretold.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> Where?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> Where what?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> Where has it been foretold? Who foretold this?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> It has been foretold by the ancients.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">KG:</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> That's not very helpfull, but sure. Tell me about your name. Where did you come up with Shazam Dynamite? Did you make it, up or did your parents lose a bet?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Shaz: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">It was given to me.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">KG: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">By your parents?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Shaz: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">By the guardians of the world beyond.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">KG: </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">You're godparents?</span></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Shaz:</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> They are guardians, not Gods. But it is good of you to say so.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">KG:</span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> What are you planning to do with the money you collect?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz: </b>I will build a transportation device to send the women of this planet to a safe destination beyond the stars.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> That might be tricky. Lot of women on this planet. What if they don't want to come?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> <i>(Shrugs)</i> You can't save every gilt from the farmer's axe nor can you force every heiffer to run from the slaughter house. It has been said.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> Try not comparing women to farm animals. You'll get farther.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> You think?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> <i>(I nod)</i> Now we've come to the part of the interview process that I call <b>THE SERIOUS THREE</b>-</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> Huh?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> In this segment, I ask you three deleriously dour, impressively serious questions. Are you ready, Shazam?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> ...This is an interview? Where are the cameras? <i>(Fixes his hair)</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Question #1:</b> How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> You're mocking me, aren't you?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> No.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> Okay. Well, I guess it would probably be around thirteen because of all the tentacles.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Question #2:</b> What is the meaning of life?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> Be true to yourself. Also, farfegnugen.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Question #3:</b> Where can my readers follow you?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> <i>(Looks around suspiciously)</i> Who's following me? You brought them right to me, didn't you?!?!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>KG:</b> Thank you, Mr. Dynamite for taking the time to answer my questions. <i>(My light turns green. I hand him a five dollar bill.)</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Shaz:</b> <i>(Face brightens up) </i>Hey! Thanks, lady! I'll be sure to save a seat for you on the Evac ship.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><i>(I quickly drive away....)</i> </span></span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-76737626844823136692015-09-28T21:57:00.000-07:002015-09-28T22:48:22.152-07:00Massage Time: Calories, Calories, Calories...<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">After five months of eating everything in sight, I've decided it's time to get back on the wagon. <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2014/12/lazy-time-reblog-sunday-365-new-blog.html" target="_blank">Again</a>. I know, I know. I've done this before. In my defense, my entire dieting regiment was thrown off kilter in <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2015/05/lazy-time-reblog-sunday-white-collar.html" target="_blank">May</a> when I was dealing with an excruciatingly painful canker sore on the roof of my mouth. By the time it healed, I would have raised Terry Pratchett from the dead and punched him in his awesome face if it meant I could eat anything that wasn't of a cold mashed potato consistency. I love me some Terry Pratchett, but I love food more.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><em>Nothing personal, dude.</em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">So I'm back to calorie counting and exercising. I've even added swimming to my workout routine. It's a good calorie burner, even though I need a freaking life belt to keep afloat. You would think with all the junk I have in my trunk I wouldn't need a floatation device. I asked <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2015/04/feature-interview-neesa-johnson-massage.html" target="_blank">Neesa Johnson</a>, a colleague of mine, her opinion on the matter, and she suggested to me that I might have <a href="http://www.swimmingscience.net/2013/02/does-low-bone-mineral-density-aid-flotation-and-enhance-swimming-velocity.html" target="_blank">high bone density which causes people to sink like a stone when trying to swim.</a> This makes me feel vindicated after years of telling people I'm not fat, just big boned.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><em>Told you, bitches!</em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">"Hold on a minute there, Ke-mo Sah-bee!" I hear y'all saying. But really I don't because this is the internet and I'm not psychic. "What does any of this have to do with massage? You're not trying to get out of writing yet another blog post are you?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">"Why would I try to get out of writing a blog post by writing another blog post?" Is what I would say if, in fact, I did hear y'all talking trash. "This thing is WAY too long to be a lazy post. And who the hell still says <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ke-mo_sah-bee" target="_blank">Ke-mo Sah-bee</a>? Am I even spelling that shit right?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">I would totally say that. Super totes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">But to answer your question, I asked Ms. Johnson if I should include massage as a calorie burning exercise, and if so, how many calories does it burn, anyway? </span><span style="font-family: Courier New;">I looked it up and was surprised to find a <a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/301052-how-many-calories-are-burned-during-a-1-hour-massage/" target="_blank">160 pound female burns approximately 289 calories doing an hour's worth of massage</a>. That seemed a bit high since I don't feel as if I'm exerting myself quite that much. I calculated for my weight and came up with <a href="http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/calories_burned.asp" target="_blank">273 calories</a> which still seems high. I can sometimes do five or six massages in a day, so why am I not a twig?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;">Well, for one, I only recently started watching what I eat, so my calorie intake has been higher than my calorie burning expenditure regardless of how much I work. And two, I do massage five days a week. My body has adapted itself to except massage as a normal activity. <a href="http://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Should-I-Do-Same-Workout-Every-Day-38579958" target="_blank">It's the same reason personal trainers tell you not to do the same workout over and over</a>, Neesa said. Your body retains its fat because it adapts to repeated routines. And because it hates you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;">So after all this research, I've decided to count a fraction of those calories burned, but only if I've had an extremely hard workday, like if I get a lot of deep tissue work and expend more than usual. I'm hoping at the very least to earn myself enough calories to drink a beer.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><em>Hard apple cider. Because I'm a drunk with distinguished tastes. And because real beer tastes...beery?</em></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-64840076174416506972015-09-26T07:00:00.000-07:002018-06-05T13:08:32.104-07:00Doomtown Theater Presents: Best Little Whorehouse in Texas<div>
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Join me at 9:30PM for this month's <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Doomtown?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Doomtown</a> Theater Presentation of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a> In Texas. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Yeehaw?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Yeehaw</a>! <a href="http://t.co/xw8HtKdtRx">pic.twitter.com/xw8HtKdtRx</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646420876267798528?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 22, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Less than 30 minutes before we get to heaven. If heaven has big hair & a madam that looks like Dolly Parton. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Doomtown?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Doomtown</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646506935139733504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Just letting yall know, I'll be doing this DTP tipsy. Because my 'puter is an asshole & I need a drink. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646510828481474560?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Opening shot: Hostered gun and old timey nudie pics. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/MustbeTexas?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#MustbeTexas</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646512080435056640?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Gomer Pyle acts as narrator. Because why not. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646512162433724416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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The part of brothel Madam Miss Mona is played by Dolly Parton (<a href="https://twitter.com/DollyParton?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@DollyParton</a>) and Dolly Parton’s boobs. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646514006941806592?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Big hair as far as the eye can see. I’d blame it on the era, but…<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Texas?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Texas</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646514246109368320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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So much spandex. The horror. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646515149075972098?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Miss Mona gets flirty w/Gomer. Gets as far as you would think. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646515802502356993?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Burt Reynolds plays Sheriff Ed, a very hairy man afraid of Speedos. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646516234821877760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Mona & the Sheriff have a typical couples argument regarding jocky shorts. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646516327557926912?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Hey! Chester Tate from Soap is in this! Look it up whippersnappers. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646518706248388608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Dom DeLuise plays Melvin P Thorp, TV Moral Marvin & Sgt. Pepper reject. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646519204682698752?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Mel talks about nuts with Ed while stuffing his underwear. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646519409343787008?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Sheriff Ed warns Mona of Sgt Pepper’s nefarious plans. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a> <a href="http://t.co/Nui7cyi7tk">pic.twitter.com/Nui7cyi7tk</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646521264815783936?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Again Mel claims Texas has a whorehouse in it. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/StillNotConvinced?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#StillNotConvinced</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646522140599054337?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Mel accuses the Sheriff of taking bribes.SheriffEd accuses Mel of stuffing his shorts. 1 of these accusations is true. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646522549006798848?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Mona & Ed are down by the lake drinking beer & getting biblical. I don’t mean that in the naughty sense. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646522888023994368?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Mel makes a fool of Ed on TV. Miss Mona is finally impressed. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646523480452657153?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Ed begs Ms. M to shut down for 2 months. Ms. M agrees. I sense wacky hijinx ensuing real soon. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646524198152630272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Insert football player bravado dance number here. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646525318098849793?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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The boys are getting drunk & the girls are stipping off their dresses. Yep. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/PromNightInTexas?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#PromNightInTexas</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646526376678289408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Ed discovers Mona is still open. Mel is heading out there. Hijinks are definitely about to ensue. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646526802324668417?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Ed calls Mona a whore…which, if we’re being honest…<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646527803521806336?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Ed: I can tell when someone’s peeing on my boots & telling me it’s a rainstorm. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646529001813512192?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Insert Governor song & dance number here. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646529631252705280?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Governor re the Middle East: It behooves the Jews&the Arabs to settle their differences in a Christian manner.<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Texas?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Texas</a>! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646529450671140864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Reporter #1: What the hell is he saying?<br />Reporter #2: The same as usual. Not a damn thing. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646529688576196608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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I’m not sure if it’s the hormones talking but this Hard Candy Christmas number is making me misty. Fuck you hormones! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646531950535008257?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Gomer’s report: 7 years later the ranch is shut down. No word on the state of Melvin's hair piece or fake crotch. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646532902876917760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Gomer became sheriff and improved his wood whittling. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646533069965385728?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Ed asks Mona to marry him & his chest hair. Mona turns them both down. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646533797937217536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Insert “I Will Always Love You” number. Inspiring future generations to mangle the hell out of it. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646533926018682880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Except Whitney Houston. That woman could have sung a cthulhic chant and made it sound good. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646534371755757568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Ed’s chest hair will not be denied. The two get married & live happily ever after. Yeehaw. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646534435098136577?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Insert Feel Good Montage here. Roll Credits. The End. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646534773020606464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Thank you for joining us for this month’s <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Doomtown?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Doomtown</a> Theater Presentation. Y’all come back now, ya hear? <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/BestLittleWhorehouse?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#BestLittleWhorehouse</a></div>
— Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276/status/646534857477111808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 23, 2015</a></blockquote>
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Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-77206849016821124182015-09-13T19:25:00.000-07:002015-09-13T19:25:15.477-07:00Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: 1000 Awesome Things<div abp="204">
<span abp="205" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">These past couple months have been sheer hell. Not just the ordinary, run of the mill hell. Sheer. Hell. Which is only slightly better than absolute hell, but not as good as...well, good. I've been dealing with uncontrollable food cravings, wacked out mood swings, and an existential crisis of infinite proportions. I'm not pregnant. In fact, if my recently fired gynecologist had his way, I'd never have children at all.</span></div>
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<span abp="207" style="font-family: Courier New;"></span> </div>
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<span abp="209" style="font-family: Courier New;">But that's a blog post for another day.</span></div>
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<span abp="211" style="font-family: Courier New;"></span> </div>
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<span abp="213" style="font-family: Courier New;">Instead, here are a few awesome things to cheer us all up! This month's Lazy Time Reblog Sunday is dedicated to </span><span abp="214" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><a abp="370" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Pasricha" target="_blank">Neil Pasricha</a> and his aptly named blog, <a abp="426" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/" target="_blank">1000 Awesome Things</a>. Pasricha started the blog in 2008 after his </span><span abp="218" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">divorce and a close friend's suicide encouraged him to find those <a abp="309" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/2014/02/567-getting-to-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-2/" target="_blank">"</a></span><span abp="219" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><a abp="310" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/2014/02/567-getting-to-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-2/" target="_blank">bright spots in the darkness"</a>.</span></div>
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<span abp="219" style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span> </div>
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<span abp="481" style="font-family: Courier New;">So here's <a abp="651" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/2015/09/160-going-really-fast-over-speed-bumps-in-the-back-of-a-school-bus-2/" target="_blank">Awesome Thing #160</a>. Be sure to buy one of Mr. Pasricha's <a abp="483" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/book/" target="_blank">many</a> <a abp="539" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/book2/" target="_blank">books</a> and/or <a abp="595" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/submit/" target="_blank">submit an awesome thing of your own</a>.</span></div>
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<a abp="733" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/2015/09/160-going-really-fast-over-speed-bumps-in-the-back-of-a-school-bus-2/" target="_blank">#160 Going really fast over speed bumps in the back of a school bus</a></h1>
<div abp="656" class="entry-meta">
<span abp="657" class="posted-on"><i abp="658" class="fa fa-calendar"></i> <a abp="659" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/2015/09/160-going-really-fast-over-speed-bumps-in-the-back-of-a-school-bus-2/" rel="bookmark"><time abp="660" class="entry-date published" datetime="2015-09-11T00:01:41+00:00"><span abp="661" style="color: #3f006c;">September 11, 2015</span></time></a></span><span abp="662" class="byline"> <i abp="663" class="fa fa-user"></i> <span abp="664" class="author vcard"><a abp="665" class="url fn n" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/author/wpadmin/"><span abp="666" style="color: #3f006c;">Neil Pasricha</span></a></span></span> </div>
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<div abp="667" class="entry-content">
<div abp="668">
<a abp="669" href="http://1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/school-bus.jpg"><img abp="670" alt="" class="alignleft wp-image-17526" height="233" src="http://1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/school-bus.jpg" style="border: 0px currentColor; margin: 10px;" title="school bus" width="233" /></a>It’s a different world.</div>
<div abp="671">
The back of the schoolbus is a <strong abp="672">strange seatbeltless land</strong> far away from teachers, parents, and watching eyes. Slide on the slippery vinyl seats, let your booger noses drip, and laugh out loud with your eight-year old pals as you bump and bounce along to school.</div>
<div abp="673">
When the bus smacks a big bump there’s suddenly a blurry scene of flying elbow-scabbed arms and <a abp="674" href="http://1000awesomethings.com/2008/06/24/998-getting-grass-stains/"><span abp="675" style="color: #3f006c;">grass-stained knees</span></a>. Butts leave the seat, faces smack the window, and some kid sitting backwards <strong abp="676">sucking on a juice box</strong> might even go rolling right down the aisle.</div>
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You keep your looping roller coasters and fancy water slides.</div>
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We’ll take these big ol’ speed bumps on our daily school bus rides.</div>
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AWESOME!</div>
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Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-21347163487702889532015-08-31T07:57:00.001-07:002015-08-31T07:57:08.843-07:00Blog Update: Don't Panic! I'm Still Here.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">I promised four posts a month, and I intend to keep that promise...next month. This month has been kind of a bitch to me, so there will only be two posts for the month of August. Three if you count this one. I'll update the Doomtown Theater post soon and get back on schedule with next month's Lazy Time Reblog next Sunday. Promise.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Here's a cute puppy meme to get you through until next post.</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhawUYR5l0nBgjzWMLZI8Ys7b3_LGGtFLvtIzDCjdGmVr8Ing8YyPkJqbfnfZOUUAeYZukzaZh22wPBsKMxM65dc1Gru2HQbEF69xWBUnCIGENMc29jfFrsaJZJYQ2pZau8Vh8t/s1600/ce4bdc3c09b968c2bddfd90d389a8061d1dea3f2c09b1c080bdff349df451916.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhawUYR5l0nBgjzWMLZI8Ys7b3_LGGtFLvtIzDCjdGmVr8Ing8YyPkJqbfnfZOUUAeYZukzaZh22wPBsKMxM65dc1Gru2HQbEF69xWBUnCIGENMc29jfFrsaJZJYQ2pZau8Vh8t/s320/ce4bdc3c09b968c2bddfd90d389a8061d1dea3f2c09b1c080bdff349df451916.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">You're Welcome.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> </span></span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-27488325957047422952015-08-17T07:30:00.000-07:002015-08-17T07:30:59.089-07:00Join Me Tuesday for This Month's Doomtown Theater: This is the End<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Join me Tuesday the 18th at 10:30 PM for this month's Doomtown Theater live-tweet movie review. I'll be reviewing <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_the_End" target="_blank"><i>This is the End</i></a>, with Seth Rogen and </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Jay Baruchel, a movie that tells you just how well Hollywood's finest will fair during the rapture.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></span></span>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></span></span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-22887168565318340152015-08-09T05:31:00.000-07:002015-08-09T05:31:36.331-07:00Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: The Consumerist<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">According to an <a href="http://consumerist.com/2015/07/22/mcdonalds-all-day-breakfast-could-go-nationwide-by-october/" target="_blank">article I read in the Consumerist</a>, McDonald's has been trying out an all-day breakfast menu at a few select locations. This would be all of the awesome since I love me some breakfast. Also because I love their Egg White Delight McMuffin. That and their apple slices make McDonald's one of the few places I can trick myself into thinking I'm eating healthy. Chick-Fil-A is another, but they've gotten my order wrong so often, I only go to them when I'm desperate. Also, they've held me captive in their drive-thru one too many times. Twenty minutes for an egg and cheese bagel and a damn fruit cup? Really Chick-Fil-A? Really?</span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKLHNjp7Zuvguv9EwMbVtaAljHq6BgjflGX8Bc1qp-0je1bOmdeZBmF_iOIgm7xxNI3NS0C3GVZm30lC6YTes8BEPAu_INzvK6yxuZvyUNZf2JpUtjd4G3VzrQIElkQJRgCMTC/s1600/Chick-fil-a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKLHNjp7Zuvguv9EwMbVtaAljHq6BgjflGX8Bc1qp-0je1bOmdeZBmF_iOIgm7xxNI3NS0C3GVZm30lC6YTes8BEPAu_INzvK6yxuZvyUNZf2JpUtjd4G3VzrQIElkQJRgCMTC/s320/Chick-fil-a.jpg" width="284" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>Know what else tastes delicious? Food. And not being late for work. Asshole.</i></span></span></td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Unfortunately, my hopes of an all-day egg white breakfast sandwich might be dead in the water before it even sets sail according to <a href="http://consumerist.com/2015/08/07/could-avian-flu-hurt-mcdonalds-all-day-breakfast-plans/" target="_blank">yet another article</a>, also by the Consumerist. Turns out the rising cost of eggs due to an ongoing avian flu epidemic is causing the Golden Arches to reconsider their plans. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Thanks Consumerist. Thanks for raising my hopes with one article, only to dash them with another. This Lazy Time Reblog Sunday is dedicated to you, <a href="http://consumerist.com/" target="_blank">Consumerist</a>, the dream dashing messenger. (Insert Tear Drop Here.)</span></span><br />
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<h1 class="entry-title">
<a href="http://consumerist.com/2015/07/22/mcdonalds-all-day-breakfast-could-go-nationwide-by-october/" target="_blank">McDonald’s All-Day Breakfast Could Go Nationwide By October</a></h1>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVof4ql-cuhyphenhyphenCsIscnn4FHUpL77gXyvBJQj2bmw3zz1mFphNeB5iiX6jc3dgKQx645rSqbtAFiSa8Jr2YVTSb7EMB2rLqQEnv8aHV3xjSc-AlIjdGvVP4mUVGkkWpKCgJ2qsOB/s1600/mcdonalds.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVof4ql-cuhyphenhyphenCsIscnn4FHUpL77gXyvBJQj2bmw3zz1mFphNeB5iiX6jc3dgKQx645rSqbtAFiSa8Jr2YVTSb7EMB2rLqQEnv8aHV3xjSc-AlIjdGvVP4mUVGkkWpKCgJ2qsOB/s640/mcdonalds.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<h1 class="entry-title">
</h1>
McMuffins, Sausage Burritos, Hash Browns and Hotcakes for breakfast, lunch <i>and</i> dinner? That could be the new reality at McDonald’s restaurants around the country as soon as this fall.<br />
<br />
That is, according to a memo recently sent to franchisees and employees of the fast good giant, <a href="http://www.wsj.com/articles/mcdonalds-could-offer-all-day-breakfast-nationwide-in-october-1437513912" target="_blank">the Wall Street Journal reports.</a><br />
<br />
As we’re well aware of by now, <a href="http://consumerist.com/2015/03/30/report-mcdonalds-to-begin-testing-all-day-breakfast-in-certain-markets/">McDonald’s began testing a (limited) all-day breakfast menu</a> in several markets – starting in San Diego and recently <a href="http://consumerist.com/2015/06/19/mcdonalds-expanding-limited-all-day-breakfast-test-to-mississippi-tennessee-adding-biscuit-sandwiches/">expanding to Mississippi and Tennessee</a> – earlier this year, and it appears those trial runs are going well.<br />
<br />
The company memo, sent from an Arizona franchisee heading the task
force for all-day breakfast, notifies franchisees to be ready for the
possible launch of all-day breakfast as early as October.<br />
<br />
McDonald’s did not immediately respond to the WSJ’s request for
comment on the memo or the potential nationwide launch of the all-day
breakfast menu.<br />
<br />
But before consumers’ dreams of a nationwide all-day breakfast
bonanza can come true, franchisee committees must approve the move.<br />
<br />
According to the WSJ, restaurant operators must place equipment
orders by mid-August and decide whether or not they want menu boards to
feature the breakfast items.<br />
<br />
“We want to make it clear that we are not being presumptive that this
will launch, but we want to make sure the system is ready to turn
quickly and launch all day breakfast should all of you believe and
support that direction,” the memo stated.<br />
<br />
Votes from franchisee leadership groups are expected to be held – at least initially – on August 14.<br />
<br />
The Golden Arches began testing a <a href="http://consumerist.com/2015/04/17/mcdonalds-all-day-breakfast-test-will-not-include-full-breakfast-menu/">limited all-day breakfast menu</a>
– featuring McMuffins (Egg, Sausage, Sausage with Egg), the Sausage
Burrito, Hash Browns, Hotcakes, Hotcakes and Sausage, Fruit & Maple
Oatmeal and Fruit ‘N Yogurt Parfait – in March, after years of customers
expressing their desire for the meals.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.wsj.com/articles/mcdonalds-could-offer-all-day-breakfast-nationwide-in-october-1437513912" target="_blank">McDonald’s Could Offer All-Day Breakfast Nationwide in October</a> [The Wall Street Journal]Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-91287442929670026092015-07-31T17:10:00.000-07:002015-08-01T17:11:36.533-07:00Doomtown Feature Interview: Stephanie Webb, Comedian<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>The Usual Unusual Disclaimer:</b> The jokes on this blog are for
entertainment purposes only. Doomtown is not responsible for any injuries
acquired while laughing your ass off, nor will we provide the reader with a new
ass as replacement. Doomtown is not responsible for, and expressly disclaims
all liability for, damages of any kind arising out of use, reference to, or
reliance on any information contained within the site that might make the
reader feel butt hurt enough to sue us. Should the reader still desire to bring
suit against the blog, please feel free to contact our lawyers at Dewey,
Cheatem, and Howe.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>Karma Girl:</b> How did you get into the comedy/improv biz? Did
it have something to do with rubber chickens?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>Stephanie Webb:</b> I've always had a passion for comedy. A few
years ago I even started writing sketches for fun, I had the itch, as they say,
but I didn't know where to go from there. Not too long after I was
working as a hostess at a restaurant, one of the pastry chefs there invited me
to her improv graduation at a place called The New Movement Theater. I did some
research on the place and within a month I was signed up for classes. It was
one of the best decisions I've ever made. Oh and oddly enough, the
aforementioned pastry chef was actually a live rubber chicken, a very talented
one I might add.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>KG:</b> What is improv, and how does one do it?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>SW:</b> First let me say that improv is difficult, and it
definitely takes formal training to be good at it! Basically one person will go
on stage, and one or more people will follow. The person who first walks up
will usually initiate a scene by saying a short, unrehearsed line, something
like, "I can't believe you're late again, Charles." It is up to
everyone on stage to build a story around that initial statement. It's
important to have an open mind and accept others' ideas because if you're the
initiator and you have a preconceived idea that Charles is late because he peed
his pants on the bus and your teammate wants Charles to be late because he was
saving the planet from aliens, the scene won't work. It's a technique called,
"yes, and". And I don't feel like explaining it, that's what Google
is for:)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>KG:</b> Do you write your own routines and, if so, where do you
get your material?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>SW:</b> I write my own stand up routines, but like I said,
improv has to be off the cuff, so writing scenes ahead of time is a HUGE
NO NO! I do, however, get inspired by different things from my life. My
hometown for instance inspires a ton of my jokes when I write stand-up, and I'm
sure it plays a big part in the choices I make during improv scenes. One of my
opening jokes is, "To give you an idea of what my hometown is like,
imagine if a banjo was a person, and it had sex with the Insane Clown Posse and
they had 60,000 kids." So yea, my Facebook feed is a treasure trove of
possible material.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>KG:</b> What do you do when the audience isn’t laughing at your
jokes? Suffer in silence or start break dancing?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>SW:</b> I have found that most audiences want to laugh, and New
Orleans people are typically laid back and polite.
However if I get a bad reaction, I like to line each audience member up and
slap them as hard as I can in the face. Then I go home, scream into a pillow,
and make passive-aggressive comments to my boyfriend. </span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>KG:</b> How do you deal with hecklers and, on a related note,
how many bodies are buried in your backyard? How do hecklers work as compost,
anyway?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>SW:</b> I haven't encountered a heckler yet. I'm pretty quick on
my feet with comebacks so hopefully murder won't be necessary.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>KG:</b> Where do you see your career heading in another five
years?</span></span></div>
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</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">
</span></span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>SW:</b> My ultimate goal would be to write comedy or perform
comedy and get paid for it! For now though I'm just happy that I get to make
people laugh on a regular basis.</span></span></div>
Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-4342337757044496352015-07-21T04:22:00.000-07:002015-07-21T04:22:25.488-07:00Massage Time: Sage Wagner, Voted New Orleans Top 20 Professionals<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">My friend and coworker Sage Wagner of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sagebodyworknola?fref=photo" target="_blank">Sage Bodywork Nola</a> and <a href="https://instagram.com/balancespanola/" target="_blank">Balance Spa and Fitness</a> was voted </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0"><span class="hasCaption">one of New Orleans' 2015 top 20 professionals in VIP Magazine. He is most awesome. Check him out in <a href="http://issuu.com/myvipmag/docs/16thissue" target="_blank">VIP Magazine's 16th issue</a> (Page 33). Book your massage with him today. I command you!</span></span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqEJJrgQEy6K24H5BUlIfowRBynbjmaWkbsNTbyvKZK7A0RVvML443pnMn0O3UQ-0XWbPS3lz2DUF-epwdRfijKTlavpuojT9OMFq_ZYyuJUtvZ4kjDBpXt7gPRv4C_KfmTOjd/s1600/10384842_1627031167530385_8766302749035593810_n.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqEJJrgQEy6K24H5BUlIfowRBynbjmaWkbsNTbyvKZK7A0RVvML443pnMn0O3UQ-0XWbPS3lz2DUF-epwdRfijKTlavpuojT9OMFq_ZYyuJUtvZ4kjDBpXt7gPRv4C_KfmTOjd/s640/10384842_1627031167530385_8766302749035593810_n.png" width="640" /></a></div>
Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-50536669605165725092015-07-19T04:25:00.000-07:002015-07-21T04:27:30.286-07:00Doomtown Theater Presents: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><div class="storify">
<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="no" height="750" src="//storify.com/karmagrl31276/doomtown-theater-presents-can/embed?border=false" width="100%"></iframe><script src="//storify.com/karmagrl31276/doomtown-theater-presents-can.js?border=false"></script><noscript>[<a href="//storify.com/karmagrl31276/doomtown-theater-presents-can" target="_blank">View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death" on Storify</a>]</noscript></div>
</span></span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-47430786880753547162015-07-12T05:19:00.000-07:002015-07-21T04:25:12.962-07:00Join Me Tuesday for This Month's Doomtown Theater: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Join me on <a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276" target="_blank">Twitter</a><span id="goog_522570226"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_522570227"></span> this Tuesday for Doomtown Theater's live-tweet review of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibal_Women_in_the_Avocado_Jungle_of_Death" target="_blank"><i>Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death</i></a>, a movie about feminism, avocados, and whatever the hell <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Maher" target="_blank">Bill Maher</a> was doing before <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politically_Incorrect" target="_blank"><i>Politically Incorrect</i></a>.</span></span><br />
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Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-28316744406040588852015-07-05T20:14:00.000-07:002015-07-05T20:14:40.182-07:00Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: D.J. Paris...the Person, Not the City in France<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifcM_95U60mw0cYjfgR5n_jiCaKM0d8Te5BxC8FWAXu_7KVx6J5I_vNjFohZp7eBVInrIhmngsJ9YgnzArEq8jwa3cGBlq2sqg4zX-CWNgbwG0Ls3C62cLSQX6wi_b2za9SHkr/s1600/dj_new.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifcM_95U60mw0cYjfgR5n_jiCaKM0d8Te5BxC8FWAXu_7KVx6J5I_vNjFohZp7eBVInrIhmngsJ9YgnzArEq8jwa3cGBlq2sqg4zX-CWNgbwG0Ls3C62cLSQX6wi_b2za9SHkr/s200/dj_new.jpg" width="141" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>D.J. Paris</i></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">After working an entire day in a pair of pants that are one donut away from not fitting me anymore, I read this and laughed. I really needed that. This month's Lazy Time Reblog is dedicated to D.J. Paris and his blog, <a href="http://thoughtsfromparis.com/" target="_blank"><i>Thoughts From Paris</i></a>. You can follow him <a href="https://twitter.com/tfphumorblog" target="_blank">here on Twitter</a> or <a href="https://www.facebook.com/djparis3?fref=ts" target="_blank">here on Facebook</a>, and be sure to subsribe to his blog.</span></span><br />
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<header class="entry-header"><h1 class="entry-title" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://thoughtsfromparis.com/stories/i-wore-tight-jeans/" target="_blank">I Used to Wear Tight Jeans – A Confession</a></h1>
<br />
<br />
There has been an unfortunate trend over the past few years where
men, usually in their late-teens to early twenties, have started to
purchase and wear “skinny” jeans. I’m talking about the jeans that are
not just tight in the seat or waist, but in the legs, too.<br />
<br />
I
think most of us can agree that this is not a masculine look. I’m not
saying it’s a terrible look. I don’t like it, personally. But guys
dress for women and men wouldn’t be wearing jeans like this if girls
didn’t respond. It’s strikingly effeminate in my opinion, and my
experience with women is that they respond more to masculinity. But
what the hell do I know? I’m old, married, and off the grid.<br />
<br />
When
it comes to clothes, I lean to the conservative. I grew up in the
Midwest, and have been wearing pretty socially-normal clothing for most
of my life. I still do. I shop at places like Banana Republic for
shirts, Lucky Brand for jeans, and Aldo for shoes. Nothing too fancy,
nothing too crazy. Simple and clean. It’s boring, but it looks good
on me.<br />
<br />
However, I do have one indulgence. Or, to be more accurate, I HAD one indulgence. Tight pants.<br />
<br />
Now,
not the same pants I just referenced earlier funneling out of a Death
Cab for Cutie concert. I’m talking about tight in the crotch. Unfortunately, I am not joking.<br />
<br />
How did this start? By total
accident, actually. I was living in a studio apartment in Chicago, and
single. It was 2002. I wanted to own just one fashionable,
expensive pair of jeans. The problem was I didn’t have any money. I
couldn’t afford to blow $150 on a pair of Diesel’s.<br />
<br />
The
interesting thing is that Levi’s had just come out that year with a
premium line of jeans. They were nearly $200, however. Way out of my
price range. However, I found a guy selling a new pair on Ebay for
around $50. The reason was that these were labeled incorrectly in
size. They were really a 34×34 (my size at the time), but listed on
the jean tag as 33×34, so they couldn’t be sold at a retail outlet.<br />
<br />
I
ordered them, and was thrilled to have a nice pair of jeans coming my
way. When they arrived, they were not 34×34 as stated in the product
description. They were, in fact, 32×34. Now, I could maybe squeeze
into a 33, but not a 32. What could I do? No refunds allowed.<br />
<br />
Then
I noticed they were boot-cut, which turned out to be an asset even
though I hadn’t ever worn a pair of boots in my life. I tried them on,
and while amazingly tight, they widened at the bottom near the feet.
In my rationale this evened out the look. Tight on top, super loose on
the bottom. I couldn’t use my diaphragm to breathe, but who cares?
These were cool.<br />
<br />
By the way, can we stop for a moment and discuss
this word “diaphragm”? Why is it a muscle you use as part of
respiration, and also a means by which you can avoid parenthood? I
never understood that. Change one of the names, I say. Okay, back to
story.<br />
<br />
So, the jeans worked okay, in my opinion. They looked
fine in the mirror. Except for one thing – you could totally make out
my dong.<br />
<br />
I must have tried to position my privates in at least seven different locations, but it was no use. You could see everything.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHhgnTcZp81vz7e2DP4cHPbMin0vFweezYKXBvKhwgGGscdQPwd3H2mlhnaG2A_MJWKNcqSiRL4mm6w9FwE9c0zQ7ixfNNWp7WxjIxD194Rf9RVM5sbFmqFIJVeXNAAydU3aOQ/s1600/man-tight-jeans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHhgnTcZp81vz7e2DP4cHPbMin0vFweezYKXBvKhwgGGscdQPwd3H2mlhnaG2A_MJWKNcqSiRL4mm6w9FwE9c0zQ7ixfNNWp7WxjIxD194Rf9RVM5sbFmqFIJVeXNAAydU3aOQ/s400/man-tight-jeans.jpg" width="291" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not like this guy - But close</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
However, maybe this wasn’t so bad. Not that I wanted people being
able to see my magic, but maybe nobody would even notice. I’ve never
known women to look at a guy’s crotch. I mean, I dated a lot, and no
girl ever said, “Check out the d on that fellow!” I’ve heard women
talk about a guy’s butt, but never about front-junk. So, I said,
“Screw it.” I put my loose fitting jeans (and dignity) in the closet
where they gathered dust.<br />
<br />
I wore the tight jeans for a year or
two. To be honest, I really have no idea if I became a walking joke,
or if nobody ever noticed. I seemed to get dates, and not one woman
ever said anything about how the whole bar knew that I was a “lefty.”<br />
<br />
Fast
forward a few years, and I had finally come to my senses. I realized
this was not a look I wanted to cultivate, even if nobody noticed. My
income had expanded, and I now had the ability to purchase clothes that
flattered my appearance. Also, that fit correctly. I put the tight
jeans in the closet indefinitely where they hugged a coat hanger,
instead of my balls.<br />
<br />
After I turned 28, I started dating a woman
who lived in a different state. I made plans to go visit her, and took
a flight to spend the weekend. I had told her the tight jeans story,
and she had me promise to bring them down and show her what they looked
like. Essentially, she wanted to make fun of me. But, I’m a sport so
I packed them.<br />
<br />
When I got to her condo, I threw my suitcase in
her closet, and dug around to change clothes. Before I changed, she
insisted that I model the tight jeans for her. I hadn’t put them on in
years, but, quite honestly, was kind of excited, because of how funny
this was going to look. I’ll sacrifice a little “cool” for a good
joke.<br />
<br />
I grabbed the jeans from the bottom of the closet and
wrestled my way into them. It really was an effort, but I got them on.
I didn’t remember them being THIS tight, but whatever. I thought
for sure I would bust the seam, just trying to get the button fly
together. I was like, “Man, either I’ve gotten fatter, or these jeans
were way more unforgiving than I remember!”<br />
<br />
I hadn’t gotten fatter. I had put on her jeans by mistake.<br />
<br />
Now,
let’s go back a few steps. I have to explain something because this
probably sounds worse than it was. This woman was six feet tall. Also thin and fit. I’m 6′ 2″ and pretty thin myself.<br />
<br />
But still, I had put on her jeans. And they had fit. Tightly and uncomfortably, but they fit.<br />
<br />
She quietly and softly said, “Um – those are my jeans.” I had no idea.<br />
<br />
I
laughed. I’m not a woman. It had never crossed my mind that she
might feel embarrassed that her boyfriend could fit into her pants. I
mean, I already knew this woman was beautiful and thin. So, what’s the
big deal?<br />
<br />
Well, I’ve told this story to a bunch of women over the
years, and they all have the same response. It’s a big deal. So,
let’s just say that it’s safe to assume her self-esteem didn’t grow
leaps and bounds after this event. I don’t know if she starting
cutting or anything, but it wasn’t a good start to the weekend. She
was a real trooper though, and laughed it off. Our relationship ended
soon after that. Not because of this, I don’t think.<br />
<br />
A few days
ago I was telling my wife that I was going to write this story, and she
pulled a potentially dangerous trick on me. She made me try on her
jeans. Now, my wife is thin, but she’s also 5’8″. That’s not too far
from 6’2″. Plus, I happen to currently be at my thinnest in years. I
tried to weasel out of it, but she essentially forced me to put on her
jeans.<br />
<br />
See, this really isn’t a fair thing, as women are built
differently then men, often with wider hips. So, jeans for a woman
tend to accommodate for this. Plus, they use different size
measurements. For men it’s in inches. For women, it’s a size from
0-whatever. I don’t know the conversion. If my wife is a size 3 (no
idea what size she really is), how many inches is that? Heck if I
know. I tried doing the math, but couldn’t figure it out.<br />
<br />
So, I
just went for it. I was absolutely relieved to find out that I came
nowhere near fitting into her jeans. I mean, I have to share a bed
with this woman. It’s in my best interest to not fit into her jeans. Thankfully, I didn’t. However, I did make her take this picture. Enjoy.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank God...</td></tr>
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</header>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-71967833880524696442015-06-28T21:11:00.000-07:002015-06-28T21:14:12.744-07:00Feature Interview: Karma Girl, AKA, Karen Williams, Author of Doomtown<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Have you ever
encountered the type of person that just couldn’t help putting things off until
the last second? I’m talking about the kind of idiot who, when given an assignment
will inevitably be found madly typing two hours before deadline, hoping they make
it to zero hour with a finished project in hand. The type of person who, when out
of ideas, will cobble something together that would make Frankenstein’s monster
shudder and exclaim, “No, no, no! I think we could do better than that.” I
know of no such person.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">"The hell, you say! Arg."</span></span></td></tr>
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</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";">On an unrelated
note, this month’s <i>Doomtown Feature Interview</i> is with Karma Girl, AKA Karen
Williams, massage therapist and blogger of that spiffy blog, <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><i>Doomtown</i></a>. It is
quiet excellent. I’ve heard.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>THE USUAL UNUSUAL
DISCLAIMER:</b> Don’t bother asking yourself if this whole thing is “meta”. You’ll give
yourself a headache.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> How do
we start this thing, anyway? Am I the interviewer or are you?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Since
you asked the first question, might as well be you. I’m good either way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Nifty! I
never realized how easy we are to get along with.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b>
Yeah, we are pretty reasonable about things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Okay.
Next question: The name of your blog is <i>Doomtown</i>. Why do you call it that?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> When
I started <i>Doomtown</i> ten years ago, I was a blackjack dealer at a casino called
Boomtown Belle Casino in </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Harvey</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">,
</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">Louisiana</span><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">. I hated my job. My coworkers were all
great, but I’ve never been big with the social skills-something you kind of
need when dealing with verbally abusive drunk people you aren’t allowed to
punch. I decided to pour all my work frustrations into a blog. The problem was
there was this big controversy around that time regarding people getting fired
for saying too much about their lives online. Since I felt a general air of
doom every time I left for work, I decided to call my blog <i>Doomtown</i> to protect
my identity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Now that
you’re no longer a casino dealer, what is the current focus of your blog?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> I’m
a <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2015/06/massage-time-what-you-knead-to-know-to.html" target="_blank">massage therapist</a> and writer who loves making fun of <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2015/06/doomtown-theater-presents-zombeavers.html" target="_blank">cheesy movies</a>, <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2015/05/feature-interview-larry-l-gegenheimer_31.html" target="_blank">asking people stupid questions</a>, and procrastinating to the point I have to <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2015/05/lazy-time-reblog-sunday-white-collar.html" target="_blank">reblog other people’s content</a>. Figure it out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Fair
enough. So, you’re a writer-</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> No.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Oh come
on! I didn’t even ask the <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15893286-mercy-bound?from_search=true&search_version=service" target="_blank">question</a> yet.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> I’m
rewriting it. Next topic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> …</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> And
stop rolling our eyes at us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Fine.
(Eye Roll) How did you come up with the idea for <i>Doomtown Theater</i>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> I
think I was looking for things to reblog when I came across this <a href="http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2013/09/50shadesofshade-50-shades-of-grey-twitter.html" target="_blank">live-tweet review of Fifty Shades of Grey</a>, the novel.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Ew.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> I know,
right? Anyway, <a href="http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/" target="_blank">Luvvie</a>, the woman who did the live-tweet, was incredibly funny,
and I wondered how it would work if I tried it with a movie. I tried it, and it
was fun, so I decided to make it a reoccurring thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> What are
your plans for <i>Doomtown</i> in the future?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> I’d
say world domination, but let’s face it. I’m too damn lazy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> True
Dat.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Word.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Well,
thanks for a lovely interview, me!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Uh,
aren’t we forgetting something?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Oh crap!
I almost forgot it’s time for <b>THE SE</b></span><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New";">RIO</span></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>US THREE</b>. This is the segment of the
interview where I ask the interviewee three exceptionally abstemious, amazingly
serious questions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> We
are so running out of synonyms for this segment. Okay. Let’s do this thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>QUESTION #1:</b> After
reading our many blog posts about massage, I think a lot of our readers would
like to know what exactly is a “happy ending” and why is it so distasteful?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b>
<a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2012/11/top-5-things-that-drive-your-massage.html" target="_blank">Fire. Die in it.</a> Moving on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> But seriously,
I think our readers might not-</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Next.
Question.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Okay,
okay. We don’t have to be like that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>QUESTION #2:</b> Which
would you rather? To be afflicted by some terrible <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pure_alexia" target="_blank">dysfunction</a> that makes it
impossible to read books OR have the ability to read, but <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/2013/01/twilight-of-damned.html" target="_blank">only if you read a Stephenie Meyer book first</a>?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b>
Would I still have my hearing?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Sure.
Why not?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> The
first. I can always listen to audio books.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>QUESTION #3:</b> Where
can our readers find/stalk/follow us?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b>
Well, they can follow us here on <a href="http://doomtown-doomtown.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><i>Doomtown</i></a>. There’s also our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/karen.griffin.961" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and
<a href="https://twitter.com/karmagrl31276" target="_blank">Twitter</a> pages, but please don’t follow me just to sell me followers. Is there
anything tackier?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Is it as
tacky as doing an interview with yourself? That’s pretty damn
tacky, am I right?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> …</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> I mean,
it’s like we aren’t even trying anymore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Stop
hitting yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> Ha, ha,
what-OW!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Ha!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KARMA GIRL:</b> You do
realize you hit us both, right?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New";"><b>KAREN WILLIAMS:</b> Still
worth it.</span></div>
Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28899830.post-88087868215131783062015-06-21T19:07:00.000-07:002015-06-21T19:07:12.208-07:00Massage Time: What You Knead to Know to Become a Massage Therapist<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Clients often ask me, "What did you have to do to become a massage therapist? You have to go to school for that kind of thing?" I, being the puckish lass that I am, usually reply with a long story somewhere on the level of the twelve labors of Hercules. Sometimes, ninjas are mentioned. After we've both had a good laugh, they'll ask again, "No, really. What did you have to do?" So I tell them, and they're usually surprised at the amount of schooling required to be licensed and certified. And that doesn't include what I have to do to keep same.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><a href="http://www.massagetherapyschoolsinformation.com/massage-therapy-schools-louisiana/" target="_blank">It's a time consuming and costly endeavor to become an MT</a>. You have to know all the muscles in the body, where they're located, and what they do, but that's just the start. You also need to know when you can or cannot work on a client (contraindications). You need to take an ethics class, probably because most people equate massage with quotation marks around the word. As I've mentioned before, I don't do "massage". I do massage. Don't EVER get the two confused if you ever want to receive a massage from me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Those are just a few of the things I had to learn in school, and that doesn't include my yearly continuing education classes (12 units every year). So, just in case you were wondering, here's a list of the classes I had to take for <a href="http://catalog.dcc.edu/preview_program.php?catoid=2&poid=158&returnto=88" target="_blank">Delgado Community College's Massage Therapy Certification program</a>. Remember this the next time you tip your therapist a mesely two bucks. You bastard:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></span>
<b><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="">Introduction to Therapeutic Massage</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZFZyL2M2WYBc2PgPInS2r9n4T9bF_Lsiz2MiSLXKAr45cjqlReFpfHfucy-UbJqeQ8Nbyk-QeyysQQq56cR_QrXmBf1uZ6FTas2hKGWdmUS-FIENOOwTaUIkTruCJsSbr5m1/s1600/mst1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZFZyL2M2WYBc2PgPInS2r9n4T9bF_Lsiz2MiSLXKAr45cjqlReFpfHfucy-UbJqeQ8Nbyk-QeyysQQq56cR_QrXmBf1uZ6FTas2hKGWdmUS-FIENOOwTaUIkTruCJsSbr5m1/s200/mst1.jpeg" width="156" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class=""><span class="">History and development of therapeutic massage. Includes
medical terminology, ethics, hygiene, safety, body mechanics, SOAP
notes, and Heart Saver CPR Certification.</span> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span>Foundation for Swedish Techniques</span></b><span> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><span class="">Full-body Swedish massage. Massages performed on student
clients. Includes anatomy, draping, body mechanics, indications and
contraindications, and development of care/ treatment plan.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span>Muscle/Skeletal Anatomy and Palpation Skills</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6E2IWLuOov0qUMCG-Qnygrg_jE9UgptdAjxY6I3DvXV3VWSPzBdDarvm-OUIkAtZwpPhwGLa_bogvU-ntoHFPL74jzedP5AAjl-2rWe84y1Zu3Zxpwk_tXTyePC1Jr1A0OV6L/s1600/mst3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6E2IWLuOov0qUMCG-Qnygrg_jE9UgptdAjxY6I3DvXV3VWSPzBdDarvm-OUIkAtZwpPhwGLa_bogvU-ntoHFPL74jzedP5AAjl-2rWe84y1Zu3Zxpwk_tXTyePC1Jr1A0OV6L/s200/mst3.jpeg" width="153" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><span class="">Comprehensive study of skeletal and muscular systems.
Focuses on recognition and palpation of bony landmarks and on origins,
insertions, actions, and palpation of muscles.</span> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span>Sports Massage</span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><span class="">Concepts and practice of sports massage. Includes
pertinent anatomy and physiology, tissue response to stimulation, and
application of sports massage techniques. Emphasizes major stress points
and contraindications.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span></span></span></span><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span> </span></span></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span>Neuromuscular/Deep Tissue Therapy</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="">Concepts and practice of neuromuscular/deep tissue
therapy. Includes postural evaluation, tissue evaluation, and trigger
point palpation; discusses nerve compression and entrapments, ischemia,
and stages of rehabilitation. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span></span><span>Fundamentals of Traditional Chinese Medicine</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTjtf5Rvmc6ZHY2DTkepqZOQ7M33htCrMzcg7FFFaI4WdQuPAqCoRQPZO87zXmT7S9VuESd6kgF62-MYHYDn0WxTdOoOuGC6tfvRK8EknOpD7SmfHxGWDQnpe3xhrYFO6u7qI3/s1600/mst7.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTjtf5Rvmc6ZHY2DTkepqZOQ7M33htCrMzcg7FFFaI4WdQuPAqCoRQPZO87zXmT7S9VuESd6kgF62-MYHYDn0WxTdOoOuGC6tfvRK8EknOpD7SmfHxGWDQnpe3xhrYFO6u7qI3/s200/mst7.jpeg" width="154" /></a><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class=""><span id="goog_1101668106"></span><span id="goog_1101668107"></span>Concepts and techniques of traditional Chinese medicine.
Includes 12 meridians, yin and yang, chi energy, the five elements,
shiatsu, and acupressure.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span>Pathology for Massage Therapy</span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiZ__56qFza_kSfRZkwTLKuYEf6AshlJDG68qs1qENaOuxPA89xmIkFaMi5iLgWZaIAPuiqXJ_vpE_ZXrZok3k4fnZo9F7Y77vstNcmxTN0xWxp69ePbkDs2Os3QmZrk2NIAaW/s1600/mst2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiZ__56qFza_kSfRZkwTLKuYEf6AshlJDG68qs1qENaOuxPA89xmIkFaMi5iLgWZaIAPuiqXJ_vpE_ZXrZok3k4fnZo9F7Y77vstNcmxTN0xWxp69ePbkDs2Os3QmZrk2NIAaW/s200/mst2.jpeg" width="148" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><span class="">Recognition of human diseases. Develops practical
understanding of when bodywork is indicated. Includes infirmities to
which bodywork should not be applied.</span> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span>Business/Ethics/Law in Massage Therapy Practice</span></b></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLh717ezn5-uWBRHtDQKUkK2dlpL5OQgiSXnrKo3Ejvx64YmMa2WdBUfgJKKpsUdMH7gXLDT_5VZQGCGxq1-I5InxF38rIG7Bbi9C2V2H7WIIRqwDK6WmUk9-R2F1wp66bQMSI/s1600/mst4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLh717ezn5-uWBRHtDQKUkK2dlpL5OQgiSXnrKo3Ejvx64YmMa2WdBUfgJKKpsUdMH7gXLDT_5VZQGCGxq1-I5InxF38rIG7Bbi9C2V2H7WIIRqwDK6WmUk9-R2F1wp66bQMSI/s200/mst4.jpeg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><span class="">Basic information necessary for massage practice.
Discusses self-employment, target clientele, management, professional
ethics, and business structure. Communicates state law relating to the
practice of massage.</span></span></span></span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><br /></span></span></span></b>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span>Topics for Special Populations</span></span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span><span class="">Current issues in massage therapy. Topics include the
abused client, infant and child massage, the physically and/or
psychologically challenged client, reflexology, aromatherapy, healing
touch, hydrotherapy, and the elderly client.</span> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span></span><b><span>Massage Therapy Clinical I</span><span> - III</span></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="">Application of massage techniques on public clientele.
Setting appointments, professional appearance, draping techniques,
recordkeeping are included under instructor’s supervision.</span></span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Human Anatomy and Physiology I - II</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="">Systemic survey of human body. Emphasizes structure, function, and chemical mechanisms.</span></span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Human Anatomy and Physiology Laboratory I - II</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span class="">Hands-on experience in microscopy. Dissection required.</span></span></span><br /><span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span></span>Karma Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04743139732817885833noreply@blogger.com4