Doomtown

Larry Gegenheimer Jr., 3rd Degree Black Belt The Usual Unusual Disclaimer: The beatings will continue until moral improves. Karma Girl: According to your Facebook profile, you are a martial arts instructor at Kuk Sool Won of Gretna . What is Kuk Sool Won, and where did you learn it? Bonus points if your answer is Shaolin monks! Larry : Shaolin monks are Chinese. Kuk Sool is a Korean art.   I learned it in Terrytown (a far cry from Shaolin monasteries).   It is a traditional art that encompasses every martial art Korea has.   Our Grand Master put all that he learned into one system and called it Kuk Sool which means National Martial Art.   It is recognized as Korea 's national martial art. Karma Girl: Your Facebook profile also states your profession as Case Manager/Misdemeanor Probation Officer. I assume you deal with criminals, and if so, do your two jobs ever intermesh? Is there a 24th Judicial District Court fight montage floating around ...

I have recently become the queen of passive-aggressive notes at my workplace. I'm a massage therapist, as many of you know, and I work at various places in and around the Greater New Orleans area. On Sundays, I work at a spa in the CBD. I won't tell you which one because I don't want to scare off the clientele. This is ironic considering how often my boss gripes at me to post something for the company's Facebook page. I don't think she would approve of this tale of yuck, though. Also, she might frown upon the fact that I'm contemplating physical harm against one of her employees. I'm usually a live and let live type of gal, but I've reached the end of my rope, and it looks like there's a noose at the end of this one. Handy. So here's the situation. There are two rooms specifically set aside for massage, and both rooms are shared amongst a handful of massage therapists. The way it's supposed to work is you set up your room for the day...

Hollywood, it seems, is big on reboots . Lots and lots of reboots . So I wasn't surprised when I heard Sony is remaking The Craft , a movie that came out in 1996 BSM (Before Social Media) about what happens when you give a group of teenage girls magical powers. This, but with magic missile and a levitating Fairuza Balk . A lot of people from my generation (what you youngsters born After Social Media call "old people") are worried it couldn't possibly live up to the original and that Sony will screw it up like Universal screwed up Jem and the Holograms . I, personally, don't care what they do. I liked the movie when it came out, but it wasn't so life changing that I'm ready to hold a Sony exec hostage until I see a copy of the script. And it's not like this is a George Lucas film . The original is still out there for me to enjoy if the new movie turns out to suck major gopher wang. But before Sony inevitably does shit on my childhood, I had a ...

Join me on Twitter this tuesday at 10:30 PM for this month's ‪#‎ DoomtownTheater‬ live-tweet movie review of ‪#‎ TheCraft‬ before Sony up and destroys your childhood.   "Too...many...Cheesy...Poofs!" "Shut the fuck up, Nancy."

I have a love hate relationship with food. I love its glorious deliciousness, yet hate when it betrays me with hideous love handles and belly fat. Usually I try to be careful in my eating habits. This week...not so much. This week it was anything goes-or rather, anything goes that doesn't cause me pain because I have a canker sore on the roof of my mouth. I know you really needed to know that, but take heart in the fact that I've never informed any of you bitches when I have hemorrhoids. Just saying. It's a testament to how much pain I was in that I would even bother to go to the doctor for something so seemingly trivial. I'd like to say the sinus infection I came down with pushed me over the edge, but if I'm being honest, it was the food. I'm on my husband's health plan now, but years of being uninsured have engrained in me a deep seated fear of doctors bills. But I went anyway. I'm insured now, and when you feel like someone is stabbing you in the si...

Neesa Johnson, LMT. THE USUAL UNUSUAL DISCLAIMER: I certify that the information given in this interview is correct and accurately reflects my past and current thoughts and feelings regarding the spa industry. I will notify the interviewer of any changes in mind-set, but probably not, because I totally know what I’m talking about. Like, seriously. I understand the information requested will assist the interviewer as well as the general public (who have no idea just how crazy the industry can get) in finding the right spa/massage therapist/etc. I totally give consent to have these questions blogged for all to see, and am not being held at gunpoint by the interviewer until I answer all of her questions so that she can make her deadline because she is running late with her post yet again. Honest... help me! Karma Girl: When did you first know you wanted to become a massage therapist instead of a doctor, lawyer, or pony…Not that I’ve ever wanted to be any of those things. ...

I hate out calls, and not just because of the seedy connotations the term brings up. Just google the word, and you'll see what I mean. No, I will not "enlarge" so you can take down Cassie's digits. Pervert. For those of you not "looking for a good time", an outcall is when the massage therapist comes to you. My spa offers this service (The legal kind. Not the happy ending type.). My boss won't force a therapist to do an outcall, but seeing as you get half the amount of the massage plus gratuity, it's a damn tempting offer. Still, it's the type of work I dread for various reasons. First, there's the hassle of schlepping a portable table to the clients location. This isn't so bad if they're located at the same hotel as the spa, but if they're staying at the Ritz or Harrah's or any of the dozen or so hotels in the area, I have to worry about transporting the thing across town. This isn't fun, especially when my bo...

I was beating my head against the wall trying to come up with a movie to review when my friend and fellow blogger/writer James Butler mentioned the new Daredevil series. I haven't seen it yet, but when I have the time, I plan to sit down to binge watch as many episodes as I possibly can without destroying my marriage. My first thought was, "Maybe I should review the first episode." And then I thought, "Wait. Wasn't I feeling guilty about something? Certainly I did somebody wrong some time in my life. Why don't I rewatch Daredevil the movie as penance?" That's exactly what I did. Not only are my sins forgiven, I may have actually made myself a virgin again in the process. I can even perform miracles. I can't walk on water yet, but I've been practicing on rain puddles, so any day now. And yet, still not as bad as Fifty Shades . Congratulations, E.L. James. You've lowered the bar. You've lowered the bar. [ View the story...

Adande Thorne, AKA Swoozie! I always feel like I'm last to the party. Like to the point where it's 4 a.m. and the other guests are long gone and the host is all, "Party's over, bub. And hey, did I even invite you? Who the hell are you, anyway?" It's my own fault that I wait until the last minute to show up, or even bother to show up at all. That's how I feel about blogging, Facebook, YouTube, and pretty much life in general. I started my blog in 2005 when everyone had one, and even then, it was starting to get old. The whole idea of blogging, I mean. I don't even know what possessed me to start Doomtown, but I did. And I updated. Sporadically. I think I even went an entire year without writing an entry. Because...my life is so...full? Maybe I knew you guys needed a break from my constant whining. I get half a dozen of these a day on Facebook. Don't know why. When Facebook came out in 2006, I had no intention of joining. I had enough ...

I should be so lucky. Yes, things got away from me again this week, but I did manage to snag an interview from my imaginary friend, who is quite cleverly named, Imaginary Friend. I usually only see him after my second drink, and I don't really talk to him much anymore since I started the one drink a month rule, but he was willing to sit down long enough for me to ask a few questions. Mostly because he needs the imaginary cash. Enjoy! IMAGINARY FRIEND: THE USUAL UNUSUAL DISCLAIMER: I, Karma Girl’s Imaginary Friend, being of sound mind but no “body” because I’m a creature of imagination—and possibly, delusion—do solemnly swear to tell the banana, the whole banana, and nothing by the bana—Wait…who the hell wrote this bullshit disclaimer? KARMA GIRL: How long have you been in the imaginary friend business? IF: How long have you been drinking Schnapps? KG: Am I your first “friend” or have there been others? IF: You aren’t the first...