Doomtown

Join me Tuesday the 18th at 10:30 PM for this month's Doomtown Theater live-tweet movie review. I'll be reviewing This is the End , with Seth Rogen and Jay Baruchel, a movie that tells you just how well Hollywood's finest will fair during the rapture.

[ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death" on Storify ]

Join me on Twitter this Tuesday for Doomtown Theater's live-tweet review of Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death , a movie about feminism, avocados, and whatever the hell Bill Maher was doing before Politically Incorrect .

The so-bad-it's-good genre of movie is a hard one to pull off. Usually when it happens, the creator of the film is going for serious drama, not laughs. Some film makers are willing to accept this type of thing in stride. Mountains of money will do wonders for loss of dignity. Pictured above: Sweet consolation. I'm not sure what the creators of Zombeavers were going for. Either they were attempting to make a SBIG horror story like Sharknado , or they were honestly hoping for a Cabin in the Woods style of horror. It's hard to say. Either way, they failed. The plot and the truly terrible special effects could have worked for SBIG, but the characters weren't funny, unintentional or otherwise. They were irritating, and I prayed for their deaths just to get them to shut up. The dialogue seemed like the writers were trying for unintentional humor, but most of the "jokes" fell flat. Zombeavers had its moments and might have been improved with better editi...

Hollywood, it seems, is big on reboots . Lots and lots of reboots . So I wasn't surprised when I heard Sony is remaking The Craft , a movie that came out in 1996 BSM (Before Social Media) about what happens when you give a group of teenage girls magical powers. This, but with magic missile and a levitating Fairuza Balk . A lot of people from my generation (what you youngsters born After Social Media call "old people") are worried it couldn't possibly live up to the original and that Sony will screw it up like Universal screwed up Jem and the Holograms . I, personally, don't care what they do. I liked the movie when it came out, but it wasn't so life changing that I'm ready to hold a Sony exec hostage until I see a copy of the script. And it's not like this is a George Lucas film . The original is still out there for me to enjoy if the new movie turns out to suck major gopher wang. But before Sony inevitably does shit on my childhood, I had a ...

Join me on Twitter this tuesday at 10:30 PM for this month's ‪#‎ DoomtownTheater‬ live-tweet movie review of ‪#‎ TheCraft‬ before Sony up and destroys your childhood.   "Too...many...Cheesy...Poofs!" "Shut the fuck up, Nancy."

I was beating my head against the wall trying to come up with a movie to review when my friend and fellow blogger/writer James Butler mentioned the new Daredevil series. I haven't seen it yet, but when I have the time, I plan to sit down to binge watch as many episodes as I possibly can without destroying my marriage. My first thought was, "Maybe I should review the first episode." And then I thought, "Wait. Wasn't I feeling guilty about something? Certainly I did somebody wrong some time in my life. Why don't I rewatch Daredevil the movie as penance?" That's exactly what I did. Not only are my sins forgiven, I may have actually made myself a virgin again in the process. I can even perform miracles. I can't walk on water yet, but I've been practicing on rain puddles, so any day now. And yet, still not as bad as Fifty Shades . Congratulations, E.L. James. You've lowered the bar. You've lowered the bar. [ View the story...

I've been threatening to post a Fifty Shades live-tweet review for some time now, and every time, I've found better things to do. Like one day, it looked like rain. And the next, it was such a nice day, I didn't want to waste it. And you know, like pretty much anything else that didn't have to do with sitting in a movie theater while watching this film. But last Tuesday, I finally did my duty to blog and followers and saw the film. And yes, it was ALL of the awful. Although I've never read any of the books in E.L. James' series, I've always been careful not to put them down-at least, not too hard and not in front of a hardcore fan. I've learned the hard way what trash talking a book you've never read will earn you, and it isn't a light spanking from a rich hunk sporting a gray t-shirt. But much like Twilight , I'd heard enough about the general plot to know how bad it would be. And when I learned it was first conceived as Twilight fan...

Many of you- the two people who actually read this blog ...probably-must be wondering where the hell I've been since I haven't posted anything in, like, forever. It's been a while, I know, but I'm still here. I've just been too busy cursing Mardi Gras traffic and getting over a sinus infection. And trying to make it to yoga class. And catching up on all the stories I was supposed to read for the last writer's circle meeting I went to. And the stories from the meeting I missed due to the aforementioned sinus infection. Suffice it to say, I've been a busy, busy bee.   So, it's been close to ten years since I started this blog . A lot of you (both of you) might be wondering what I have planned for the year ahead. World domination is totally out of the question as I am too much of a procrastinating slacker to even come close to realizing that dream. Mostly I just plan to keep on writing like I always do and pray someone pays attention. And that someon...

I'm the type of person that will yell at a book when the characters do something stupid (i.e. searching a suspect's house without a warrant), but will give TV characters a free pass. This is because I consider most TV shows to be nothing more than brain candy-not intellectually nutritious and hard to stop consuming once I start. There are some exceptions to this rule , but for the most part, TV Time is Veg Time. Which is why I'll probably continue to keep watching Forever on ABC . Its premise is about an immortal medical examiner (not a vampire, for a change) looking for a way to die without ending up waking up in the nearest body of water. Naked. After watching the pilot, I have to agree with most critics that there isn't anything in the show that breaks new ground, but it's entertaining, so I'll probably give it a chance. The show's writers need a lesson in research and common sense, however. There were one or two times when characters put themselves...

When the ladies at the spa where I work found out I had never seen Frozen , they were all like, "Damn, girl! You've got to rent it! It is SO good!" One of them even said it made her cry. I knew this wouldn't happen to me. No movie has ever made me cry. Ever. Not Titanic . Not Schindler's List . Not even Big Trouble in Little China -although, I must admit, I got a little misty eyed when Jack Burton finally got his truck back. I'm only human, damn it! Darren had it on Blu-Ray so we both decided to hunker down to see what all the fuss was about. I didn't cry. I didn't even get misty eyed. When the girls at work asked what I thought of it, I shrugged and said, "It was meh." They were astounded, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Every woman I've talked to about it since has said it's the best animated movie Disney has ever put out and they don't understand how I don't feel the same way. The word that usual...

Decided it would be fun to live-tweet Big Trouble in Little China with Kurt Russell , Kim Cattrall , and the always awesome James Hong . Unfortunately, I can't embed the Storify version here because Blogger sucks, so you'll just have to make do with this link to the sites. Here they are in all their glory. Enjoy! Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 *Author's Note*: Finally figure out how to do this. So here it is if you're too lazy to click on the links above. [ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Big Trouble in Little China [Part 1]" on Storify ] [ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Big Trouble in Little China [Part 2]" on Storify ] [ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Big Trouble in Little China [Part 3]" on Storify ]