Doomtown

[ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death" on Storify ]

Hollywood, it seems, is big on reboots . Lots and lots of reboots . So I wasn't surprised when I heard Sony is remaking The Craft , a movie that came out in 1996 BSM (Before Social Media) about what happens when you give a group of teenage girls magical powers. This, but with magic missile and a levitating Fairuza Balk . A lot of people from my generation (what you youngsters born After Social Media call "old people") are worried it couldn't possibly live up to the original and that Sony will screw it up like Universal screwed up Jem and the Holograms . I, personally, don't care what they do. I liked the movie when it came out, but it wasn't so life changing that I'm ready to hold a Sony exec hostage until I see a copy of the script. And it's not like this is a George Lucas film . The original is still out there for me to enjoy if the new movie turns out to suck major gopher wang. But before Sony inevitably does shit on my childhood, I had a ...

I've been threatening to post a Fifty Shades live-tweet review for some time now, and every time, I've found better things to do. Like one day, it looked like rain. And the next, it was such a nice day, I didn't want to waste it. And you know, like pretty much anything else that didn't have to do with sitting in a movie theater while watching this film. But last Tuesday, I finally did my duty to blog and followers and saw the film. And yes, it was ALL of the awful. Although I've never read any of the books in E.L. James' series, I've always been careful not to put them down-at least, not too hard and not in front of a hardcore fan. I've learned the hard way what trash talking a book you've never read will earn you, and it isn't a light spanking from a rich hunk sporting a gray t-shirt. But much like Twilight , I'd heard enough about the general plot to know how bad it would be. And when I learned it was first conceived as Twilight fan...

I'm the type of person that will yell at a book when the characters do something stupid (i.e. searching a suspect's house without a warrant), but will give TV characters a free pass. This is because I consider most TV shows to be nothing more than brain candy-not intellectually nutritious and hard to stop consuming once I start. There are some exceptions to this rule , but for the most part, TV Time is Veg Time. Which is why I'll probably continue to keep watching Forever on ABC . Its premise is about an immortal medical examiner (not a vampire, for a change) looking for a way to die without ending up waking up in the nearest body of water. Naked. After watching the pilot, I have to agree with most critics that there isn't anything in the show that breaks new ground, but it's entertaining, so I'll probably give it a chance. The show's writers need a lesson in research and common sense, however. There were one or two times when characters put themselves...

When the ladies at the spa where I work found out I had never seen Frozen , they were all like, "Damn, girl! You've got to rent it! It is SO good!" One of them even said it made her cry. I knew this wouldn't happen to me. No movie has ever made me cry. Ever. Not Titanic . Not Schindler's List . Not even Big Trouble in Little China -although, I must admit, I got a little misty eyed when Jack Burton finally got his truck back. I'm only human, damn it! Darren had it on Blu-Ray so we both decided to hunker down to see what all the fuss was about. I didn't cry. I didn't even get misty eyed. When the girls at work asked what I thought of it, I shrugged and said, "It was meh." They were astounded, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Every woman I've talked to about it since has said it's the best animated movie Disney has ever put out and they don't understand how I don't feel the same way. The word that usual...

Decided it would be fun to live-tweet Big Trouble in Little China with Kurt Russell , Kim Cattrall , and the always awesome James Hong . Unfortunately, I can't embed the Storify version here because Blogger sucks, so you'll just have to make do with this link to the sites. Here they are in all their glory. Enjoy! Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 *Author's Note*: Finally figure out how to do this. So here it is if you're too lazy to click on the links above. [ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Big Trouble in Little China [Part 1]" on Storify ] [ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Big Trouble in Little China [Part 2]" on Storify ] [ View the story "Doomtown Theater Presents: Big Trouble in Little China [Part 3]" on Storify ]