Monday, December 24, 2012

The Hobbit: A Three Hour Movie

I'm going to see The Hobbit tonight. D's been wanting to see it since he heard it came out. This movie is two hours and forty-six minutes long. Not quite as long as Titanic (three hours and fourteen minutes)-a movie, by the way, that branded me a heartless bitch when I turned out to be the only woman who left the theater dry eyed. I was crying on the inside, okay! No, not really.

Anyhoo, The Hobbit is definitely long enough for me to take caution not to drink anything before the movie starts. I have a notoriously small bladder. Yes, this is going to be fun.

The things we do for love, eh?

I've heard the reviews for this movie were less than stellar, but I liked Lord of the Rings, so here's for hoping. When I come back, I'll be sure to tell you just how god-awful it was. Or how delightful. Or how sexy Bilbo Baggins' hairy feet are. I'll try not to do like I did for Sucker Punch and leave you hanging for an eternity like I did the last time. Because I know so many of you are biting your nails to the quick waiting for my next post...(insert awkward cricket noises here).

Saturday, December 08, 2012

Cheating in High School

I don't remember ever cheating on a test, but if I did, this would be the way I'd do know, if I had friends.

Friday, December 07, 2012

The One-Minute Writer: The Belt Buckle and the Necktie

From The One-Minute Writer:

FFF: The Belt Buckle and the Necktie:

The pants were starting to fall around his knees. The starvation diet was finally working but this pantsless lifestyle was not going to win him any friends.

"I'll use my neck tie!" he exclaimed much to the annoyance of the other passangers on the train.

Monday, December 03, 2012

30 Days o' Love

Towards the end of October, I issued my significant other a warning. I was going to be participating in NaNoWriMo this year. Chances were good that I would be so wrapped up in my writing that certain people in my life-namely, him-might get to feeling neglected. I assured him that I still loved him deeply. Passionately, even. It would only be for a month and then I would be back to admiring his magnificence and telling him how truly awesome he is...or something of the like (insert eye roll here).

I made it clear that this wasn't another repeat of that Cityof Heroes fiasco where I got so caught up in the game that he eventually threatened to end the relationship on grounds of abandonment. Yes, I got so into a game, my boyfriend threatened to dump me...his girlfriend. I hear from many of my female coworkers and my older sister that this situation is usually reversed and some have even gone on to advise me to seek professional help for this terrible affliction. Since I don't have money for a shrink, I've solved this problem by not playing the damn things at all. Now if only I could solve that pesky internet/chocolate/anything-edible-and-within-reach addiction...yeah, not in this lifetime.

With my warning in affect, I went on to write my little heart out free in the knowledge that it wouldn't be held against me. Things seemed to be going well...that is, until he realized I was going to be attending the Metairie write-ins. All of the Metairie write-ins. And the little side parties like movie night and the TGIO party last night. He didn't forbid me to go, per se, but I did notice the look of disappointment in his eyes and maybe a wee bit of anxiety over the fact that I would be spending hours on end with my computer at a coffee house with other WriMo's. Other WriMo's, some of which might possibly, maybe be of the male persuasion. I really hope that's what he was thinking. Personally, I'd feel better knowing he was jealous than if I suspected he thought I was a talentless hack and wasting my time. I am a talentless hack, but that's besides the point.

Regardless of what was going on inside his noggin, I wasn't particularly pleased when he told me one night after I asked him if he wanted me to stay home, "I'd never keep you from doing anything you want to do. But don't worry. I'll let you know when you're getting ridiculous."

Seriously? Seriously? Grrrr....The fact that the man isn't in a bed-ridden coma this very moment from the pummeling he so richly deserved but has yet to receive is nothing short of a miracle and a true testament to my never ending patience and understanding!

In his defense, I had been spending a lot of time on the Westbank at my sister's house while this was going on. Not every night, but at least twice to three times a week. We've become workout buddies and have so far discovered that Belly Dance Fitness is much harder than it looks and that Leslie Sansone from those Start! Walking At Home dvd's sounds a little like Fran Drescher when she laughs. I think we expended more energy making fun of the woman than we did working out-a mild exaggeration, but still! Have you heard this woman laugh!?!? Like fingernails on a chalkboard! Again, D. hasn't out and out said anything against this. In fact, he's glad that I'm sticking to my workout plan when I have failed to do so so many times in the past, but I can't help but wonder if he's slightly miffed that I'm willing to give up precious boyfriend/girlfriend time away so willingly, his reasoning being, "If you don't have the time to spend with me, why do you spend it with her?" He's never said as much, but I have the sneaking suspicion that's what he's been thinking. And he knows big sis is my shoulder to cry on when he's acting like a total douche. I don't know. Maybe I've been reading too much into this. Maybe I've been feel guilty after all.

I decided before Nano ended that I would rectify this situation by making the month of December his month or what I like to call SpeTimWBoyfMo (Spend time with boyfriend month) ...the acronym could use a little work, I know. Anyway, I found this app for android called 30 DayRelationship Challenge. Here's the description:

Take the 30 Day Relationship Challenge and have a stronger love life!

Put the spark back in your love life. Show your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend how much you love them. The challenge’s main goal is to motivate you to do something special/romantic/sweet for your significant other every day for 30 days. In the end you should have a stronger relationship.

Basically, it's a relationship to do list, like "Buy him a lottery ticket and write 'I won the lottery when I met you,' on the back." Today's assignment required me to sneak up behind him, give him a long hug, and tell him he's the best thing that ever happened to me or some such thing. We're on day three and so far I've accomplished everything but the ticket thing. Instead I just told him I won the lotto when I met him and left it at that.

The best part of SpeTmo? He doesn't even know I'm doing it. I haven't told him. Every day I'll perform a random act of mushiness and I'll keep on doing it until the month is over-at least, until December 30th. I might add an extra assignment to fill up the entire month. I'm curious as to how long it will take before he either:

a) Asks me, "What's up with you? You’ve been acting really strange lately."

b) Asks me, "Are you cheating on me? Seriously, you've been acting so weird this past month!"

c) Points a gun at my head and yells, "What the hell have you done with my girlfriend person!!!"

I suspect either a) or b), but I'm not ruling out c) just yet. I'm also thinking of starting a betting pool for any interested parties. How long before I drive my Snuggle Bunny insane with romance? Place your bets people.