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Showing posts from June, 2017

I've Often Wanted to Ask This Question Myself...

Be sure to visit Zach's page. His comic is awesome! And did you know he wrote a book with his wife, Kelly Weinersmith? You should check that out too. Preferably by buying it.

Spa Review of Awesomeness!

I don't know who posted this, but I'm sure they are just fabulous!

“I didn't get a pony for my birthday, but it's all good!” Reviewed March 16, 2017 
Went to the Woodhouse Day Spa in New Orleans for their Woodhouse Experience. I went to their website and read what the package entails because booking a spa package without knowing what I'm getting would just be silly. Good thing too, because I found out the Woodhouse Experience usually includes a bath cure followed by a four handed massage. Having two therapists work on me at the same time creeps me out, so I opted for a 110 minute Swedish instead. The concierge who booked my appointment was awesome. I think it had something to do with the fact I treated her like a human being deserving respect and not a servant born to do my bidding. My spa day started with me arriving at the spa AT LEAST 30 minutes before my appointment began because I work in New Orleans and know that sometimes finding a parking in the city can suck.…

A Russian Doll in Reverse

A RUSSIAN DOLL IN REVERSE by Karen Plaisance He feeds from me. He suckles from a vein in my neck, gulping away like a thirsty redneck sucking down a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon. We’re sitting in the cold and the dirt and I’m desperately trying to hold onto some semblance of sanity, trying to get my nerve up. I can’t close my eyes. I’m afraid I’ll disappear if I do that. But I can’t look either. I can’t look at the whole picture. There’s something unpleasant in the room with me that has nothing to do with my captor. That has everything to do with my captor. My feverish mind rebels when I try, so I take the scene in one grizzly part at a time as he feeds, starting from small to large. Like one of those dolls, those Russian Matryoshka dolls that you open to find one doll after another inside, each smaller than the next. Only I’m starting from the inside out. First, there’s the eye. It was sapphire blue when the woman lived and sparkled like a gem even in the dimly lit bar where I served her…

Karma Girl's Excellent Last Will and Testament

Okay, I’ve had a few drinks, so bear with me. First thing’s first: Open Bar. I want an open bar at my funeral/wake/memorial service. Whatever you want to do is fine, just make sure there’s an open bar. I don’t give a shit if alcohol is a depressant. OPEN. FUCKING. BAR!

Things I would like, but if you can’t do, no biggie: 1. I want to be cremated. It’s the cheapest route and personally I don’t like the idea of my friends and family members crying over my decaying corpse. I’d like for at least some of those ashes to be used to plant a tree or something like that. Not because I’m a pagan or anything. I just feel like I’ve been pretty useless in life. Might as well put my dead ass to work helping the carbon ratio or whatever the hell it’s called. 2. I haven’t lost total faith in God. Yet. He took my dad and little sister, but who knows? Maybe they really have gone to a better place. I will allow a minister of my husband’s, mother’s, or sister’s choosing. Please don’t get into a fight over it…