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Showing posts from March, 2014

Super Secret Internet Connection

Woke up this morning to find my internet connection was temporarily out. Pretending I knew what I was doing, I clicked on the internet access bars at the bottom right corner of my screen to see what the problem was. I found something interesting.

Either someone has come up with a very imaginative internet handle, or the US government needs to retrain it's agents in the fine art of subterfuge.

John Ehret High 20 Year Reunion Information Sheet: What the Hell I've Been Doing For the Past 20 Years

There's nothing more depressing than finding out your twenty year high school reunion is just around the corner, especially since I never did much with my life. I would love to pull a Martin Blank and tell everyone I became a brain surgeon or what not while simultaneously leading them to believe I became some kind of covert operative/killer for hire, but let's face it, I'm no John Cusack nor have I ever been. I was a fat, pimply face kid in high school and even more socially awkward than I am now. I've decided to go anyway. Mostly because I like to punish myself. They even had an information sheet for all us old timers to fill out. Of course, I answered these questions with the usual grace and aplomb I am known for. Here are the highlights:

John Ehret High School - Class of 1994 20 Year Reunion Information Sheet
Children:Number: 0

Names & Ages: I'm childless, but if I had a child, I would probably name it Abstinence or Purity or something 'cause…