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Showing posts from October, 2014

Riding the Panic Train, or What Not to Do When Your Husband Might be Dying

Last Tuesday I learned the hard way that when the zombie apocalypse goes down, I am totally screwed because I'm no good in a crisis. In fact, I suck gopher wang. Worse: I suck unwashed gopher wang.

My husband came home from work Tuesday afternoon looking like utter crap. More so than usual. I don't say that to be mean, trust me. Darren is a handsome man. He's also a diabetic, not in the best of health, and he's killing himself working two jobs-one of which requires some heavy lifting. He usually leaves for the first job around 7:30 in the morning(sometimes earlier), works until 3:30 or 4:00 PM, leaves for his second job, and comes home around 7:30 or 8:00 PM. That's a long goddamn day, and as you might expect, he's usually exhausted by the end of it. Last Tuesday was his short day, so I expected him to be tired, but not as bad off as he usually is when he's working both jobs. I couldn't have been more wrong. When he walked through the door, he looked lik…

Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: The Pet Collective

Y'all are gonna think I lost my damn mind with this one. To be fair, it's been a long day of rubbing backs, and I didn't have a lot of time to search the internet for interesting things to amuse my dear reader(s). But after some quick searching, I found a YouTube video of an American Horror Story cat parody from The Pet Collective's archives. Follow them here on YouTube and enjoy this video while I take a long and much deserved Epsom salt bath.

Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: Zombie Orpheus Entertainment & Rallsfilm

Back when I was a kid, there were these little comic booklets church going adults would give to kids to keep them quiet and to set them along the righteous path. The main message of these booklets was that everyone needed to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior like right now or else. They also taught that everything in the world is pure evil, everything but Jesus and the bible. The King James version of the bible. Not those other...less reliable versions? These comics were evangelical tracts written and drawn by a man named Jack T. Chick (Chick tracts), and they were awesome in their foolishness.

According to the word of Jack Chick, the list of evil things includes homosexuality, Catholicism, pornography, any religion that isn't Christian (except Catholicism because Catholics are bad, for some reason), and Dungeons & Dragons, to a name a few. D&D was one of the biggies. There was some big to do about it being an indoctrination tool for the occult (bad), and he even did a …

Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: Recapper's Delight

I don't have a whole lot of time for television, what with all these internets needing to be surfed. But when I do find a show I like, kiss me goodbye and write me a post card, 'cause you won't be seeing me for a long time what with the fact that I'll be too busy binge watching the hell out that shit to care much about the world around me. If it's not on Netflix, I pine away, waiting for the next season to come out on Blu-Ray or DVD. Because how the hell am I supposed to sleep at night if I don't know Sam Winchester made it out of hell with both his soul and his wits intact? Waiting for all the episodes of Forever to be available to download might drive me to the brink of insanity. Just the brink, mind you. I watched the pilot episode. It was meh.

I don't always have time to binge watch the shows I like because there are these things called sleeping, eating, working, and sex with my husband that I have to do. Lucky for me Claire Abraham has my back. Her blog…

Five Life Hacks Every Massage Therapist Knows

I've often told my husband that, should we win the lotto, the first thing I'm going to do is hire my own personal massage therapist. Until then, I've made do by trading massages every other week with one of my coworkers. The therapist I trade with is so good at what she does, I've informed her that she's at the top of my hire list should that fiscally worry free day occur.

A lot of you massage virgins out there might think receiving a massage twice a month is an insane luxury, but for us massage therapists, it's much needed maintenance. Most body workers that leave the industry quit due to repetitive motion injury. I've been in the business for over four years, and I don't think I've ever met a massage therapist that didn't complain about some kind of upper body pain. If your occupation requires you to do any kind of repetitive action on a daily basis (any occupation dealing with computer work, hair stylist, dentist, bicycle messenger, anything r…