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Showing posts from April, 2014

Facebook PM Mating Call 2: Take the Hint Perv

If the internet has taught me anything over the years, it's this: No matter how unattractive you think you are, no matter how homely you might be, there will always be that one pervert who will whack off to your profile picture and beg you for cyber sex in a Facebook private message chat. And chances are, this pervert will misspell everything he types and mangle the English language beyond recognition. I consider myself an understanding, open minded person. People get lonely. I get that. If you never ask, you'll never know. But when someone tells you they're married and not interested in your need to "take out sperm", you should take what they say at face value and try to hit up someone else. Especially when they tell you they have a history of blogging morons who won't take no for an answer. Case in point:

Being NiladriSekhar Ghosh: Hello

Karma Girl: Hello

Being Niladri Sekhar Ghosh: Wassup

Karma Girl: Goofing off on Facebook and waiting for my husband to come h…

Murphy's In-Law: The Importance of Wedding Planners and Dress Rehearsals

On February 15th of this year, my sister Tammy, having become dissatisfied with the swinging life of the single divorcĂ©e, rejoined the ranks of the happily married. A year ago, her boyfriend Larry asked her to be his wife. Her first marriage was a roller coaster ride of badness, so here's for hoping the next go round will be all of the good and none of the suck. I, personally, think she's onto a good thing as Larry is a pretty decent guy. He has a job, probably doesn't have a police record, and isn't the kind of guy to get physically or verbally abusive unless his Sims characters do shit he doesn't want them to do. Even then he'll only yell passive aggressively at the computer screen.

Larry is a Kuk Sool Won instructor with a black belt and has a degree in English and Philosophy. He has a weakness for computer games, his comic book collection, and women with type A personalities sporting stilettos. He's often been described as the male version of me. Or he w…