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Showing posts from September, 2015

Doomtown Feature Interview: The Crazy Homeless Guy on the Corner of Poydras and South Claiborne Avenue

I was driving to work one day, trying to think of a good interview subject, when I happened upon a homeless guy standing on the corner of Poydras Street. He was holding a sign warning of the dangers of a coming Martian invasion, and begging for money. To be fair, I'm not sure if Mr. Shazam Dynamite-the name he gave me-is truly one of the city's disenfranchised. He claimed to have a home and plenty to eat but needed the money for the spaceship he is building to escape the "Red Menace". Here's the scoop I was able to get from him while waiting for the light to turn green.

Karma Girl: Can you tell me how you ended up here?

Shazam Dynamite: Took the bus.

KG: I meant how you came to be at such a low point in your life, but sure. What's up with the sign?

Shaz: The Meanies, they follow me, but I'm too smart for them. Gave 'em the slip.

KG: The Meanies?

Shaz: The Red Meanies. The Red Menace.

KG: ...Communists?

Shaz: (Gives me an irritated groan) No,you idiot!I think…

Massage Time: Calories, Calories, Calories...

After five months of eating everything in sight, I've decided it's time to get back on the wagon. Again. I know, I know. I've done this before. In my defense, my entire dieting regiment was thrown off kilter in May when I was dealing with an excruciatingly painful canker sore on the roof of my mouth. By the time it healed, I would have raised Terry Pratchett from the dead and punched him in his awesome face if it meant I could eat anything that wasn't of a cold mashed potato consistency. I love me some Terry Pratchett, but I love food more.

So I'm back to calorie counting and exercising. I've even added swimming to my workout routine. It's a good calorie burner, even though I need a freaking life belt to keep afloat. You would think with all the junk I have in my trunk I wouldn't need a floatation device. I asked Neesa Johnson, a colleague of mine, her opinion on the matter, and she suggested to me that I might have high bone density which causes people …

Doomtown Theater Presents: Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Join me at 9:30PM for this month's #Doomtown Theater Presentation of #BestLittleWhorehouse In Texas. #Yeehaw! — Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) September 22, 2015
Less than 30 minutes before we get to heaven. If heaven has big hair & a madam that looks like Dolly Parton. #Doomtown#BestLittleWhorehouse — Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) September 23, 2015
Just letting yall know, I'll be doing this DTP tipsy. Because my 'puter is an asshole & I need a drink. #BestLittleWhorehouse — Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) September 23, 2015
Opening shot: Hostered gun and old timey nudie pics. #MustbeTexas#BestLittleWhorehouse — Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) September 23, 2015
Gomer Pyle acts as narrator. Because why not. #BestLittleWhorehouse — Karen Williams (@karmagrl31276) September 23, 2015
The part of brothel Madam Miss Mona is played by Dolly Parton (@DollyParton) and Dolly Parton’s boobs. #BestLittleWhorehouse — Karen Williams (@karmagrl312…

Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: 1000 Awesome Things

These past couple months have been sheer hell. Not just the ordinary, run of the mill hell. Sheer. Hell. Which is only slightly better than absolute hell, but not as good as...well, good. I've been dealing with uncontrollable food cravings, wacked out mood swings, and an existential crisis of infinite proportions. I'm not pregnant. In fact, if my recently fired gynecologist had his way, I'd never have children at all. But that's a blog post for another day. Instead, here are a few awesome things to cheer us all up! This month's Lazy Time Reblog Sunday is dedicated to Neil Pasricha and his aptly named blog, 1000 Awesome Things. Pasricha started the blog in 2008 after his divorce and a close friend's suicide encouraged him to find those "bright spots in the darkness". So here's Awesome Thing #160. Be sure to buy one of Mr. Pasricha's manybooks and/or submit an awesome thing of your own. #160 Going really fast over speed bumps in the back of a school…