Doomtown

Every year since I turned thirty, I have made the same New Year's resolution: No making of New Year's resolutions. As resolutions go, it's a pretty easy one to keep. Or not, since its paradoxical nature ensures at least a tiny rip in the delicate fabric of the space-time continuum. What can I say? I love creating small paradoxes. When I was younger, my resolutions were more mundane. Stop eating so much junk food. Exercise more. Stop pining over celebrities I have little to no chance of meeting in real life and even less chance of ensnaring with my womanly wiles. Mel Gibson while I was undergoing puberty.    Mel after puberty...Resolution achieved!   The funny thing is, I never kept these resolutions until I stopped bothering to try. I gave up junk food one cookie and pastry at time. It wasn't a resolution made on New Year's Eve, but a decision made months later after taking a hard look in the...

I've never been big on Christmas, seeing it more as an aggravating yearly ritual of guilt brought on by lack of funds for that whole gift giving thing. I am not one of those people that breaks out the big bag of goodies for every Tom, Dick, and Harry I've ever met, and I make sure to warn everyone a month in advance that if they buy for me expecting something in return, they will end up being sorely disappointed. I have an extremely small circle of people I buy for. My nephew, because I'm childless and someone has to take care of me in my old age. My step niece, because it just wouldn't be fair if I got something for my nephew but not her, and I don't want to start a war in my sister's household-at least, not one that doesn't give me some sort of perceptible advantage. My mom, because the woman birthed me and raised me and kept me in coffee and books all throughout my childhood. And if I can figure out just what the hell he wants, I'll try to buy a gift ...

Marathons suck. Hear me out on this one. I work in New Orleans most of the week, and one of the things I hate about working in the city is having to pay for parking. The hotel I work at charges its employees six dollars a day for this privilege. Six bucks doesn't seem like much of an expense, but it adds up, and it's still money I could be spending on books or the Catching Fire Blu-ray when it comes out. Note to Santa: Hint, hint. Nudge, nudge. Another thing I hate about working in New Orleans? I'm directionally challenged. Driving to unfamiliar places is a nightmare for someone like me because I get so easily lost, especially a city like New Orleans where every other street seems to be one-way. Hell, I get lost on the Westbank, and I grew up there! If it weren't for the wonders of GPS, I'd never make it out of my driveway. Once I've driven to a particular destination a few- cough, hundred, sputter -times, I'm good. Once I learn the route, as...

Yes. Yes, I did. This helped:

Lauren Scharhag is the author of such books as Our Miss Engel , Order of the Four Sons series, La Tutayegua , Under Julia , and West Side Girl & Other Poems . She has won the Gerard Manley Hopkins award for poetry. Ms. Scharhag hails from Kansas City where she lives with her husband and three cats, but not a dog named Toto. Because that would just be silly. LAUREN: Yes, especially since I live in Missouri and not Kansas. KARMA GIRL: Before we start, I'm going to give you my usual Unusual Disclaimer: Silent tongue is filled With questions yet to be asked Interview begins Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Lauren.   LAUREN: Thanks for having me. KG: Tell us about yourself. You live in Missouri now, but according to your bio you grew up in Kansas City. What was it like growing up there and have you ever dropped a house on someone's sister? LAUREN: Actually, Kansas City is in Missouri as well as Kansas-- it's the older, original KC. I had a pre...

November is NaNoWriMo , so I'm going to busier than...a person...who is very busy? Forgive me. My brain hurts from trying to write a 50,000 word novel. On the plus side, I might actually finish the sequel to my first book before the end of time. Yay me! Unfortunately, this means my schedule this month will be hectic, and I'm going to have to cut back on my blog posts. I can hear the weeping and gnashing of teeth even as I type this. I have an author interview set up for sometime this week, however, so don't fret. And here's a little something to keep my adoring fan(s) satiated until this mad month of NaNo is over. My apologies to Cheri Cerio who gave this to me three days ago to post: LAUNDRY DAY Begins Production In New Orleans Armak Productions is proud to announce that the new feature film LAUNDRY DAY begins production in New Orleans in November, using an all-New Orleans cast, crew, and creative team. LAUNDRY DAY is a dark comedy noir from the award-winning f...

The dead have risen and a desperate struggle for power has begun. The military are evacuating all survivors in passenger planes. With their destination unknown, one group of survivors led by a journalist named Paul Larkin, decide to share their experiences with the hope that when combined, their stories will reveal the answers that the government had not been willing to give themselves. Nine survivors banded together, yet none of them realized, as they stood to tell their tales that they stood on the brink of discovering a conspiracy the likes of which the world has never seen.  Crab your copy from Amazon today for just $2.99 Alex Laybourne: Born and raised in the coastal English town Lowestoft, it should come as no surprise (to those that have the misfortune of knowing this place) that he became a horror writer. Married with four children; James, Logan, Ashleigh and Damon. His biggest dream for them is that they grow u...

Learning massage is not a static thing. I'm constantly researching new techniques, perpetually attempting to hone the old techniques I already know. Every year I'm required to attain at least 12 CEU's (continuing education units) to remain licensed and certified. The problem with massage is that you can't just read about those techniques. You have to see them before you can perform them. The best way to do this is to take a class with a certified instructor who knows what the hell she/he is doing. And for those 12 CEU's I WILL be required to find and pay that instructor so that they might give me a piece of paper that says I shelled out the dough and passed the class. That class will probably set me back a week's worth of pay, so that instructor better be damn good. Grumble.   If I were a rich woman, I would take a class every couple months. There are so many modalities that I'm dying to learn. Lymphatic Drainage, Table Top Thai, Reflexology, ar...

Tom Tinney is a conservative loving, hippie loathing, v-twin power riding biker and writer of the science fiction novel THREADS: FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE . He also loves puppies. Do not make him drive a Prius; he will only laugh at you. KARMA GIRL: Thanks for agreeing to this interview. I'm glad to have you. Before we start, I'm going to give you my USUAL UNUSUAL DISCLAIMER : No bikers or writers will be harmed in the making of this interview. No hippies either. Sorry dude. TOM TINNEY: LMAO! KG: Are you ready? TOM: Yepper. Have you turned on the "fat finger" correction feature? KG: Oh yes. Even though I'm an excellent typist...an excellent typist....(Insert Rain Man impersonation here.) According to an interview you did with Indie Author Land , you are a self proclaimed "Biker-Nerd". Can you explain how this concept is possible without ripping a hole in the space-time continuum? TOM: Sure. As a b...