Monday, July 28, 2008

I Have Gangrene!

Okay, I'm being melodramatic. A week ago, a rash broke out between my right index and middle fingers. After days of self medicating myself with over the counter ointments, the rash got worse and spread. I was forced to seek medical attention when the itching got so bad my fingers swelled up like jumbo sausages and leaked some kind of weird fluid. The receptionist took one look and asked if I had a chemical burn, it was that gross. One hundred and twenty dollars later the doctor tells me I have a severe form of eczema.

I really miss health insurance.

Ironically, this happened the same week I started back on full time. Ironic because it wouldn't surprise me if the casino is where I picked up the blasted eczema in the first place. An important tip when playing at the tables: Wear disposable gloves. Seriously. You're playing around with chips that other people have been touching and you just don't want to know where these people have been putting their sticky fingers. I once caught a woman picking her nose while I dealt to her. I stared, waiting for her to remove her finger from her nostril. She continued her search for buried treasure unashamed. Suffice it to say I wash my hands every break I get.

One good thing about full time is that I'll get my health insurance benefits back. I knew, I just knew something like this was going to happen the minute my supervisor told me I was back on full time. I knew between now and the minute my benefits were activated, I would catch some god awful disease that would require a doctors visit.

Meanwhile, I wait with baited breath for my next paycheck. Most of it will go toward my overdue car note and school. These next couple weeks I'll really be scraping by. I'll be lucky if don't get overdrawn. Hopefully Next check I'll have enough to pay my mother back for the money I had to borrow last week.

One thing I won't have to worry about buying is food since I've decided to stop eating. A coworker thought it would be funny if she mentioned how fat I've gotten. While I was on a table. While I was on a table full of gamblers. Gambler who were in the process of losing their money. Yeah. I'm really laughing over that one. I told her I would be sure to throw a compliment her way as soon as I got off the table. You know, seeing as it goes against company policy to call your coworker a vicious bitch in hearing range of customers.

So to cap off, I'm a fat, broke, starving leper and to top it all off my menstrual cycle just started. I'm beginning to wonder if there really is a god. If there is, he or she is very angry with me, indeed.

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