Monday, February 10, 2014

Paint Me Like You Paint Your French Sex Dolls

My sister Tammy is getting married this Saturday, and I'm her maid of honor. As such, I was told that I would be responsible for planning the bachelorette party. My first thought was, "Crap! I'm going to have to figure out a place to have this thing. I'm going to have to figure out catering and booze and make sure everyone has a designated driver. I'm going to have to hire a stripper." My next thought was, "I'm going to have to hire a stripper. Hell yeah!" This thought came moments before she told me that absolutely, under no circumstances was I to hire a male stripper to this shindig. Kill all my fun, why don't you. Because I love my sister-and because she's going to be the matron of honor in my wedding and will find all sorts of clever ways to get her revenge should I disregard her wishes-I did as I was told. I'm a good girl, I am.

What could have been.

The venue, at least, was easy enough to figure out. She wanted to have it at Painting With a Twist. For those of you not in the know, PWT is a class where local artists guide a bunch of hapless art noobs through the process of painting a chosen piece of artwork. You can attend a public event on their calendar, or you can book a private party. After a bit of back and forth between Tammy and the guys at PWT, I set up the party for the eighth of February, Saturday night. Tammy picked out her painting and gave me the guest list. She even set up a Facebook event page for her guests to RSVP. We bought a couple of food trays, I emptied out my liquor cabinet, and we got there early to set up. Me being me, I figured that before this night was over, something would go horribly awry. I couldn't have been more wrong. Besides two no-shows, everything went off without a hitch, and fun was had by all. But I can't take credit for all the success of this big to do. No, for that I will have to give credit where credit is due. I'd like to thank all the lovely employees at the Gretna location of Painting With a Twist for putting up with a bunch of tipsy art noobs. But mostly, I'd like to thank our surprise guest, Brad.

Brad, in all his glory.

At first, we were all a little leery when Tammy's coworker, Cheree, introduced him to us, but he quickly became the life of the party. Especially since he was more than willing to join in on the fun.

Brad, surveying his canvas.

While the rest of us despaired at our dubious art skills, Brad demonstrated his genius by yelling, "Screw this grapes and wine glass shit! I'm going to paint a Brad original!" And paint it, he did.

Brad displays his talent for good art...and wooing the ladies!

As the night went on, it became clear that among us sat a true Picasso. A very sexy Picasso.

The chosen artwork.

Brad's finished product.

PWT artist/helper examines Brad's work with much praise and adulation.

Suffice it to say, Brad's painting was the best of the bunch, and we all fell in love with him for it. In fact, I don't think there was a woman among us that didn't want to take him home with her. Alas, Brad's heart-and other organs-belonged to only one woman. He is currently residing in the trunk of my sister's car, possibly awaiting the day she will give her current fiancĂ© his walking papers and elope with him instead.

A sex doll can dream.


  1. Actually, I was going to say something similar, for a practical reason, I read your blog at work sometimes and to have photos like that pop up without warning is a bit incriminating for me. Although I can see your point in using them too. cheeky butlers brighton

    1. Sorry if this got you into trouble, but the title should have hinted at the minor naughtiness. Thanks for reading, though.