Skip to main content

Lazy Time Reblog Sunday: How To'sday by tadelesmith

The beauty industry has been going crazy lately-in other words, business as usual-with something they're calling "thigh gap" mania. A thigh gap is when you're so thin, you could clinch your legs tighter than a virginal nun trapped in a whore house and still see the fat ass standing behind you. And if you don't have a thigh gap, that's what you are. A fat ass. At least, that's how the world in general makes it seem. Because Gods forbid a woman should look like a normal human being with actual mass.

I've seen women with thigh gaps, and I have to tell you, I don't see the attraction. I guess it comes in handy if you need a cup holder or something. Whatever. If you are one of the "lucky" few to be thigh gap prone (i.e. skinny to the point of skeletal), more power to you, but I prefer a little more meat on my bones. For those of you out there who are not thigh gap prone (i.e. big and beautifully flabby like me), that want to jump on the crazy Katemossian, yoga pants wearing band wagon but can't afford surgery or an eating disorder, there's still hope for you. A YouTuber by the name of tadelsmith has a fool proof method for faking one in five easy to follow steps. Be sure to check out her other How to'sday videos if you want to learn how to go on a datehow to prepare for your first day of school, or even learn how to be the life of the party! I've been meaning to check her how to vid on procrastination, but I've been busy. I'll get to it. Eventually.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Feature Interview: Lauren Scharhag

Lauren Scharhag is the author of such books as Our Miss Engel , Order of the Four Sons series, La Tutayegua , Under Julia , and West Side Girl & Other Poems . She has won the Gerard Manley Hopkins award for poetry. Ms. Scharhag hails from Kansas City where she lives with her husband and three cats, but not a dog named Toto. Because that would just be silly. LAUREN: Yes, especially since I live in Missouri and not Kansas. KARMA GIRL: Before we start, I'm going to give you my usual Unusual Disclaimer: Silent tongue is filled With questions yet to be asked Interview begins Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Lauren.   LAUREN: Thanks for having me. KG: Tell us about yourself. You live in Missouri now, but according to your bio you grew up in Kansas City. What was it like growing up there and have you ever dropped a house on someone's sister? LAUREN: Actually, Kansas City is in Missouri as well as Kansas-- it's the older, original KC. I had a pre

"Meet Our Therapist"...Doomtown Style!

My boss has been getting on me to make a bio for  Balance Spa's Facebook page for ages, and I've only just consented to do it. I had been putting it off mostly because doing so would require me to have a picture taken of myself. Having a picture taken of myself would require me to wear makeup. I could go without, but doing so would cause one of the seven seals to be opened therefore heralding the coming apocalypse. I hear a river in China recently turned to blood . I'm not saying I had anything to do with it, but I wouldn't make any long term plans if I were you. For it has been foretold! The bio was written by one of our lovely and talented receptionists, Rayme. For those of you wondering why I hadn't written the thing myself, read a few of my posts. You might notice a pattern. I can't seem to write anything serious without becoming sarcastic or goofy. That's just the way I roll. But I couldn't help tweaking Rayme's version just a bit to fit

Five Things You Didn't Know Could Happen During a Massage

Everyone likes a good massage. Well, almost everyone. There are some that cringe at the very idea of being naked in a room while a total stranger rubs them down. These people are either crazy or have never had a massage before and don't know what they're missing. There are also the ones that like massage a little too much and should feel free to do to themselves what they erroneously believe they are paying me to do to them. Also, read item number 3 of this blog article I wrote in November of 2012 and follow the instructions therein. But for those of you who are just looking for a nice, perfectly innocent, legal, and in no way rage inducing way to relax, massage is the way to go. That said, there are a few things you should be prepared for before getting that first massage. Things such as... 1. I CAN MAKE YOU FART LIKE A GODDAMN MACHINE GUN I once had a client come in for a deep tissue massage who must have eaten a very big, extremely gassy meal right before climbing ont