Have you ever encountered the type of person that just couldn’t help putting things off until the last second? I’m talking about the kind of idiot who, when given an assignment will inevitably be found madly typing two hours before deadline, hoping they make it to zero hour with a finished project in hand. The type of person who, when out of ideas, will cobble something together that would make Frankenstein’s monster shudder and exclaim, “No, no, no! I think we could do better than that.” I know of no such person.
On an unrelated note, this month’s Doomtown Feature Interview is with Karma Girl, AKA Karen Williams, massage therapist and blogger of that spiffy blog, Doomtown. It is quiet excellent. I’ve heard.
THE USUAL UNUSUAL DISCLAIMER: Don’t bother asking yourself if this whole thing is “meta”. You’ll give yourself a headache.
KARMA GIRL: How do we start this thing, anyway? Am I the interviewer or are you?
KAREN WILLIAMS: Since you asked the first question, might as well be you. I’m good either way.
KARMA GIRL: Nifty! I never realized how easy we are to get along with.
KAREN WILLIAMS: Yeah, we are pretty reasonable about things.
KARMA GIRL: Okay. Next question: The name of your blog is Doomtown. Why do you call it that?
KAREN WILLIAMS: When I started Doomtown ten years ago, I was a blackjack dealer at a casino called Boomtown Belle Casino in Harvey, Louisiana. I hated my job. My coworkers were all great, but I’ve never been big with the social skills-something you kind of need when dealing with verbally abusive drunk people you aren’t allowed to punch. I decided to pour all my work frustrations into a blog. The problem was there was this big controversy around that time regarding people getting fired for saying too much about their lives online. Since I felt a general air of doom every time I left for work, I decided to call my blog Doomtown to protect my identity.
KARMA GIRL: Now that you’re no longer a casino dealer, what is the current focus of your blog?
KAREN WILLIAMS: I’m a massage therapist and writer who loves making fun of cheesy movies, asking people stupid questions, and procrastinating to the point I have to reblog other people’s content. Figure it out.
KARMA GIRL: Fair enough. So, you’re a writer-
KAREN WILLIAMS: No.
KARMA GIRL: Oh come on! I didn’t even ask the question yet.
KAREN WILLIAMS: I’m rewriting it. Next topic.
KARMA GIRL: …
KAREN WILLIAMS: And stop rolling our eyes at us.
KARMA GIRL: Fine. (Eye Roll) How did you come up with the idea for Doomtown Theater?
KAREN WILLIAMS: I think I was looking for things to reblog when I came across this live-tweet review of Fifty Shades of Grey, the novel.
KARMA GIRL: Ew.
KAREN WILLIAMS: I know, right? Anyway, Luvvie, the woman who did the live-tweet, was incredibly funny, and I wondered how it would work if I tried it with a movie. I tried it, and it was fun, so I decided to make it a reoccurring thing.
KARMA GIRL: What are your plans for Doomtown in the future?
KAREN WILLIAMS: I’d say world domination, but let’s face it. I’m too damn lazy.
KARMA GIRL: True Dat.
KAREN WILLIAMS: Word.
KARMA GIRL: Well, thanks for a lovely interview, me!
KAREN WILLIAMS: Uh, aren’t we forgetting something?
KARMA GIRL: Oh crap! I almost forgot it’s time for THE SERIOUS THREE. This is the segment of the interview where I ask the interviewee three exceptionally abstemious, amazingly serious questions.
KAREN WILLIAMS: We are so running out of synonyms for this segment. Okay. Let’s do this thing.
QUESTION #1: After reading our many blog posts about massage, I think a lot of our readers would like to know what exactly is a “happy ending” and why is it so distasteful?
KAREN WILLIAMS: Fire. Die in it. Moving on.
KARMA GIRL: But seriously, I think our readers might not-
KAREN WILLIAMS: Next. Question.
KARMA GIRL: Okay, okay. We don’t have to be like that.
QUESTION #2: Which would you rather? To be afflicted by some terrible dysfunction that makes it impossible to read books OR have the ability to read, but only if you read a Stephenie Meyer book first?
KAREN WILLIAMS: Would I still have my hearing?
KARMA GIRL: Sure. Why not?
KAREN WILLIAMS: The first. I can always listen to audio books.
QUESTION #3: Where can our readers find/stalk/follow us?
KAREN WILLIAMS: Well, they can follow us here on Doomtown. There’s also our Facebook and Twitter pages, but please don’t follow me just to sell me followers. Is there anything tackier?
KARMA GIRL: Is it as tacky as doing an interview with yourself? That’s pretty damn tacky, am I right?
KAREN WILLIAMS: …
KARMA GIRL: I mean, it’s like we aren’t even trying anymore.
KAREN WILLIAMS: Stop hitting yourself.
KARMA GIRL: Ha, ha, what-OW!
KAREN WILLIAMS: Ha!
KARMA GIRL: You do realize you hit us both, right?
KAREN WILLIAMS: Still worth it.